


I Didn't Ask for This

by BloodyBlackCat1313



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bad Jokes, Dark, F/F, F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, It's probably not a love triangle so... love pentagon, Love/Hate, M/M, Master/Pet, Multi, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Obsessive Behavior, Possessive Behavior, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-10-29 10:12:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 28,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10851849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodyBlackCat1313/pseuds/BloodyBlackCat1313
Summary: Life has thrown a shit storm of ill-fated events at a boy by the name of John Egbert, which has left his mind in shambles. His friends desperately try to repair their broken friend, but even the kindest of acts can cause the cruelest of conflicts to arise. Will John manage to survive the prison of a possessive partner, from drowning in the depths of his faltering depression and a potentially dangerous pet?-------or-----------One lonely boy skylark who goes by the name of John Egbert gets a new pet (... but not really)  in order to fill the void caused by the death of his dad (ºnº)





	1. I Didn't Ask for a Demon

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Silence Never Set You Free](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1387528) by [MadDub](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadDub/pseuds/MadDub). 



> This is kind of a rough draft.

**== > Be John **

You are now John Egbert; you have just been shaken out of your splendid slumber by the shitty salutations of the morning sunlight that has seeped from your window sill to instill your morning to the maximum suck capacity. Fuck you Sun, you cheeky bastard you; how dare you strip me of the subtle splendors of sleep. As with every morning, you awake to, you make an attempt to evade the warmth of your bed. However, your attempt is fruitless. You find yourself bound by two gray arms… you find them constraining; they have coiled around you like serpents. What the actual fuck! It’s 6:30 you have a little under 2 hours to get ready for school. What will you do?

 

 

**== > John Flail**

You flail about your bed in a desperate effort to escape your new pet’s clutches. Instead of being met with the glory of escaping from your captor, you are met with the sound of a blood-curdling growl. Your new pet’s grip tightens around you, and as usually you panic some more.

 

 

**== > John Stop**

STOP!? STOP!? You cannot stop flailing! You have to go to school! After all… “Education isn't preparation for life; education is life itself.” You're kind of sure that Morgan Freeman said that, what an awesome guy.

 

==> You must say although you’re not overly fond of your new pet, he is nothing short of demonic. Both you and the creature lack any means of communication. You aren’t quite sure if it’s because of the drugs Dirk and Dave gave your pet or what, but your well aware that your friend’s trolls all speak English as well as their alien language. You’ve even had pretty pleasant conversations with Tavros and Terezi, which is why you decided to take in your troll. Since your dad died, things have gotten pretty lonesome around the house, but you can’t say that anymore. Slowly you drift back to sleep.

 

 

**== > Be John’s pet **

You are now John’s pet. What will your name be?

D I C K A R D    F O R T E R I O D 

That name is absolute crap. Try again

S H I T S I N T   M C. S T A I N S 

These are nonsense names, the names to which your dumbass “owner,” tried to address you by. He is not your owner by any means if anything you’re the one who’s caring for this idiotic flesh pile. You peer down at the sleeping meat sack that snoozes under you, his arms are littered with purple bruises and crusted blood… red blood just like yours.

If anyone one asks why the boy is battered it was the kid’s fault; Afterall he was the one who tried to stop you from marking him as well as the rest of the house. The boy even had the audacity to call you something as stupid as "Forteriod!" Your name is Karkat Vantas, not Dickard Forteriod and certainly not Shitsint Mc. Stains; No, you are the great Karkat Vantas leader of the Alternian survivors, and no one will address you as anything but.

Though you will admit that you may have gone a little overboard with asserting yourself as the dominant being of this hive; In your defense, how were you to know that these human flesh bags were as soft as wigglers, your scratch stubs cut through the boy’s skins like a knife through butter. As a show of good faith, you licked away his blood before the human boy’s friends came to collect his unconscious body.

After a day or to the human boy came back with his buddies, you assumed they were protecting him from you; which only fueled the flame of your rage, if anyone could take care of this meat sack it was you and not some blond boys with sun shields over their eyes. You snatched your human from the two blondes, but then you heard the boy whimper “Dave help,” you can’t and couldn’t decipher what the boy said but for some reason, it made your blood boil. While you were distracted with the sniveling soul in your grasp the blonde, you assume is called the Dave, stabs a vial with a needle at the end into your leg. Ever since then you’ve been injected with that drug. Over the duration of your stay on earth your thinkpan has been too foggy to form a coherent sentence, much less understand one, so you haven’t any means to communicate to your human hive mate.

 

==> A growl emerges from your squeal pipette, as you gaze upon your flesh pile thrashing about the recuperacoon giving a desperate attempt to escape your arms, he stops squirming once you tighten your grip on him.

“Stop,” he flinches the second you bare your teeth, “I need to go to school.” The boy shuffles little in the recuperacoon until he’s facing you. You’ve never really had the chance to look at the human’s features, his lookstubs are blue like skyia, his hair is jet black, and his skin (much like yours) hasn’t seen the light of day. A pair of rounded teeth poke out from under his plush lips, from the top of his ears to his cheeks burns red as you stare.

“… Car cat?” You light up the second you hear the remnants of your name instead of the title someone with shit for a thinkpan would craft. You aren't sure where or when the kid had learned your name, in your current state there is absolutely no way you could have told him, you're just pleased to hear your name emerge from the boy's lush lips.

 

**== > Karkat release John **

The way the boy pronounced your name was off though, but it’s enough for you to give praise to the meat sack; you reluctantly relinquish you hold. “Karkat,” the boy’s lookstubs dart at you showing confusion on his face. He nods in compliance and says your name correctly. Fuck, it’s undeniably adorable. You watch the boy stumble out of bed, and you follow suit. He tries to abscond to his bathroom. Who the fuck give this meat bag permission to leave you? “No” the human whimpers trying to keep you at bay. This half-assed display of dominances won’t be tolerated for a second, you snarl and push him into the ablution trap.

 

**== > Be John**

It’s a bit difficult to be John at this instant, but you manage to anyway. At the moment, your “pet” has you pinned in your bathtub. “Pet” seems like an incorrect term for what is currently straddling you. No, this thing is not a pet; if anything, it’s intruder taking over your house all the while it holds you, hostage. You just wanted a dog, cat, bird, or maybe a fish to elevate your loneliness; is that so wrong? Now here you are, with your head gushing out blood and a monster sitting on your hips.

 

**== >John black out **

Sorry, that option isn’t available at this time please try again later. You haven’t lost enough blood unfortunately to escape the reality of this situation. Karkat racks his claws across your torso gently and rips apart your favorite shirt. Welp… you can say goodbye to your green slime ghost-t forever. Tears start to form. Who says a man can’t cry? Nobody that's who… unfortunately, you’re not a man you’re just a man-child if anything, but that’s fine no one’s judging.

 

**== > John be judged **

You start sniveling and weep hysterically. To anyone else that was just a stupid t-shirt, a dime a dozen, but anyone who think so little of this relic of your childhood is moronic to you. That shirt was probably the last thing you owned that reminded you of your father and all the times the two of you watched Ghostbusters together. Your melancholy dissipated into furry.

“Get. Off. Of. Me.” The gray interloper is perplexed by what you’ve said; He makes nary an effort to remove himself from you. Instead, he moves closer. He laps the tears away and proceeds to dispose of the other article of clothing. You can’t find it in you to struggle anymore; your “pet” is the opposite of you in almost every way. The demon is bigger, stronger, faster, and more handsome than you. You're already injured, why hurt yourself anymore?

 

**== > Be Karkat **

An adorable sight unfolds before your very lookstubs. The human boy is pitifully frustrated, but he remains submissive to you. Your human is completely helpless under you, no clothes and no form of defense; he just hisses some words you assume to be profane. You remove your jeans, you oddly enough you don’t have any other clothes.

 

==> Karkat turn on the ablution trap Once the water beings to fill up the contraption, you place your human on your lap. How else is this hapless human going relieve himself of all the grime his collected from the past day? You don’t want to image how this flesh pile has managed to survive without your presence in his life. Your fingers dance across the boy’s torso, he squirms at the touch. His body is so much softer and squishy compared to your own. He feels like one of Terezi’s scale mates. You poke and probe the pale flesh without thought until you hear. “I… can wash by myself.” Your starting to grow fond of the sounds that come from this huggable being but you can’t pull yourself away from this adorable flesh sack.

Once the water beings to fill up the contraption, you place your human on your lap. How else is this hapless human going relieve himself of all the grime his collected from the past day? You don’t even want to image how this flesh pile has managed to survive without your presence in his life. Your fingers dance across the boy’s torso, he squirms at the touch. His body is so much softer and squishy compared to your own. He feels like one of Terezi’s scale mates. You poke and probe the pale flesh without thought until you hear. “I… can wash by myself.” Your starting to grow fond of the sounds that come from this huggable being but you can’t stop yourself from thinking, _**WHAT THE FUCK IS HE SAYING?**_ You continue to wash the boy thoughtlessly; your soapy hand aimlessly wander around the human. “ughhh… s-stop” That sound is cute, you want nothing more than to see the human’s face after hearing him make that sounds. You continue to grope around the spot. “nnnh-no” the kids head drops down, and you can see tears splashing into the water, and quiet sobs the kid was trying to mute while you were fondling him. _I’M A MONSTER_

 

**== > Be semi-omniscient narrator**

You can't be me, you can probably guess why. Any who John is left sitting in the tubs sobbing to himself; it takes him 20 minutes to collect himself. After bathing himself, he stealthily returns to his room to avoid alarming Karkat. To John’s surprise, the troll isn’t on his bed waiting for him. With this glorious opportunity presenting itself to John, he takes this time to clothe himself while no spectators are nearby.

 

**== > Be John **

You throw on some clothes in a hurry and rush downstairs. Shit. You forgot that Karkat might be downstairs. You miss the last step and fall flat on your face. Screw it, you not even 2 hours into this day but yet it has reached its max potential of suckiness.

Two hands clasp around your waist to pull you up from the ground. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out who these helpful hands belong to. Now it's can easily be said that you are no genius, but you’ve got… a ~~good~~ head on your shoulders so you should be able to put two and two together… right? Wrong you are a complete ignorant shit sponge who wants to be optimistic by believing that this helpful person is anyone other than your “pet.”

 **YOU ARE STUPID FOR INDULGING IN SUCH LIES.** Maybe you hit you head too many times today, or maybe you're trying to repress the reality that is your life… Whatever the case is the reality is that you so willingly ignore is that your nightmarish pet is holding you.

 

 

**== > John Abscond **

Fuck that! You are way too scared to flee the scene. Instead, you shake in place. Who can blame you? There is no possible way you can come out of this on top.

Here are your options:

  1. If you try to escape, you’ll probably piss off the troll
  2. If you stay here, the troll could molest you again
  3. If you fight, you’ll probably be beaten to a pulp or die



When you take your options into consideration, you come to realize you have no options… NONE of the fuck options. What will you do?

 

 

**== > John throw down!**

Again, fuck that! You continue to quake in place for some time until you realize that Karkat had let go of you. It takes a minute or two for you to comprehend what has happened, but once you do you feel scared.

_Don’t question it; maybe Morgan Freeman will pop out of nowhere and explain how aliens are susceptible to water or something unfathomably awesome like that._

 

 

**== > John leave home **

You go to you school bus and see you pals. Dave, Dirk, Rose, Roxy, Jane, Jade Jake, and the troll party. JESUS you wish your troll was as pleasant as your friends’ troll pals. “Hi John, how’s your troll?” Jade smiles at you warmly, for a moment you forget about all the crap you’ve dealt with at home until you realized what she just asked.

“uH, dO YOU MEAN kARKAT?”

“Noooooooo Tavros, she’s not talking about Karcrap.”

“uH, REALLY?”

“Jegus you’re a dum8ass, of course, she's talking a8out Vantas who else would she 8e talking a8out?” The two trolls continue to distract Jade for now, while the other ten troll really couldn’t give a shit about the conversation and talk amongst themselves.

Luckily for you Tavros’ interject bought you some time to think of something to say, but you suck at lying, so it didn’t matter that much anyway. “Uh…, he’s…” You try your hardest to think of something to say to Jade, but dammit you at a loss for words. Jade looks worried as you try to form some BS reply. “

Jade stop, just stop, of course, Egderp isn’t pleased with his shitty troll friend. How could he be when has me?” Dave slings his arm around your shoulder and continues to spout off some more of his usual narcissistic bullshit which is a comfort to you. You lose yourself to your thoughts, and Dave’s rambling just turns into a series of comical blahs. “Blah Blah Blah, blah… right, John?”

_Shit, I wasn't paying attention._

 

 

**== > John Answer**

Are you shitting me? How is he supposed to answer a question when he hasn’t the faintest idea what that question was? “Sorry, I sort of spaced out for a second, what did you say Dave?” Dave looks to you with a sweet smile lays slapped across his face

“Don’t worry your pretty little head princess it’s nothing to be sorry about. I just said that Karkat probably isn’t a good fit for you; you can barely take care of yourself, you don’t need that kind of stress right now.” You nod in agreement. Dave wraps you in his arms, all though he is an ass hat 65% of the time you put up with this asshattery for moments like this. You nuzzle your head into his chest loving how Dave reeks of cinnamon and black coffee; he kisses the top your head.

Dave whispers under his breath, “God your too cute Egderp.” At this moment, you feel as if nothing can kill this time of peace.

 

 

**== > Karkat murder this time of peace**

You see you're human coiled in the arms of the Dave human. _**NO FUCKING WAY! THAT MEAT SACK IS MINE!**_

You are absolutely fuming at this appalling scene. The worst part of this is that your human is smiling as if he’s happy to be embraced by the shit sponge who dare touch Karkat Vantas’ possessions. Everything around your human and the Dave goes red… cue the Kill Bill sirens shits about to go down. You march toward the current source of your rage and pry the two flesh piles apart with as much force as you can summon.

For some reason, your human looks at you in horror, as if you’ve harmed him. Then it dawns on you that you most certainly did hurt the flesh pile. “You bastard.” Dave hisses from the ground at you, “John… you all right?” Dave shuffles across the dirt attempting to make his way over to your human… who Dave addressed as John. You stop the blonde kid from nearing your John.

“No,” the boy chuckles a bit as pain sears at the mutilated skin of his palms and forearms “I don't think I'm ok, I mean I don't feel ok... I don't want to look at it. Just tell me does it look bad?” John raises his hands to show the others blood rushes down his forearms. A chorus of replies comes from the peanut gallery.

 **Terezi** : “1f you 4sk m3 1 th1nk 1t sm33ls gr34t.”

 **Gamzee** : “YoU LoOk lIkE YoU CoUlD UsE a MoThErFuCkInG FaYgO. HoNk :o)”

 **Equius** :  “I agree with the high b100d… kind of.”

 **Sollux** : “you look liike 2hiit dude, you miight need 2tiitche2.”

 **Eridan** : “ivve had wworse injuries you don't need to be a wwhiny wwimp about it or wwhatevver.”

The rest of the trolls are to shock to add their two cents on the issue. Kanaya, however, looks as if she could cut off your head with a chainsaw. Two of the female humans try to reach your John, but you manage to scare them off with one simple snarl.

“I Do Not Understand Why You Are Asserting Yourself In Such An… Feral Manner, But Don’t Fucking Growl At Rose.” You want to say something to Kanaya, but your thinkpan is running amuck with fog. You know she’s waiting for you to justification or some acknowledgment, but your thoughts are to jumbled. “Say Something,” she looks with a pained look, “Why Are You Acting This Way?” You can only pick up on a few words that she says, but can’t make any sense out of them. She looks over to your human. “John Why Can’t He Speak?”

Rose stops Kanaya from bombarding John with questions, “That doesn’t matter right now; we need to get John to the hospital. Kanaya, just please take Karkat home ok.” 


	2. I Didn't Ask for Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> World building, yes-siree! Most of you will probably figure this out along the way, but in case you don't this chapter is a flashback. Sorry if there are a shit ton of mistakes, I don't have another set of eyes to proof read this so fingers crossed that I didn't fuck up too bad.
> 
>  
> 
> Ps I'm not a fan of writing in chronological order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mawhahahaha the beginning of another chapter... hellos to all

**== > FLASHBACK… but not too far into the past**

  
In a galaxy, far, far away a planet called Alternia was desecrated after the world’s sun when supernova. Luckily a handful of that said planet’s inhabitants were able to escape a seemingly inevitable death. The survivors scavenged the multiverse hoping to find a planet capable of sustaining life; fortunately, the aliens stumbled across Earth. When they landed on the blue planet, a warm welcome was not the greeting that they received. No, the inhabitants of this planet, humans, were frightened by the presence of these aliens. Some of the species were caught and used as slaves; others were hunted down like game. It was a cruel reality, but the alternative to staying on the Earth would have been worse. The Alternians had nowhere else to go, albeit existence on Earth was hellish it meant that their species had a chance to survive. The humans began to treat the Alternians more like pets as the time when on, and anti-abuse acts were put into action by organizations like PETA. Despite the Alternians knowledge and communication skills the humans did not want to look at the species as equal, they mocked the alien by labeling the species as trolls. Essentially, the Alternians were treated as nothing more than beasts of labor, and a secret punching bag for the public.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 **== > Be Jade**  
April 13, 2017

You are now Jade Harley, a 21-year-old girl who is nothing short of eccentric. You vaguely remember something important happens today; you look down at your fingers to check. Tied around your right hand’s pinky is a lovely blue string.  
**-YOU IDIOT-**  
Due to the endless frustration you feel, you slap your head with all the force you can summon. Of course, today marks the birth of one of your nearest and dearest friends, John.

You had already selected John’s birthday present with your new roommates, Tavros and Aradia. Both of your new troll friends implored you to adopt a troll named Karkat Vantas; Karkat was to be euthanized due to his unruly behavior. Tavros stated that Karkat was a loud mouth, but he was never violent. It was obviously that your roommate was looking out for his friend, and you don't have the heart to let his friend die.

Aradia, on the other hand, seemed to be happy for Karkat; she claimed that death was just an extension of life that had unfortunately been regarded as a negative thing. Her words are puzzling to you, but you don't plan to decipher the meaning behind them; after all, you're a very busy soul with too much on your plate as it is.

 

 

**== > Jade go to the shelter**

You go to the shelter to pick up John’s troll. All the employees seem to rejoice in ridding themselves of the troll, except for one. He looks at you with guilt shining in his eyes. You take note of all the scratches and blossoming bruises that litter the boy’s arms. For a moment you wonder if it was Karkat’s doing if this is what could happen to John, but then shake the thought out of your mind.

You inspect the guilt-stricken man-child that stands front of you. Etched on his name tag is C-h-a-s-e. You a assume that could be his name, but there was always a chance that it is a work requirement to have a name tag on, even if it isn't yours. He is obviously a lower level employee. From his facial features and overall body composition, you conclude that Chase is likely a year or two younger than you. The boy has yet to grow into his gangly arms and legs, but his face has shed off all of its baby fat to reveal sharp features. The kid is adorable and frail all at once, the second he grows into his body would likely be moment drowning with attention. Out of all the people in the shelter, you can tell he has the strongest sense of morality despite his weak disposition.

  
“Are… you sure y-you want this one miss?” Shame creeps up on you, ruing how you’ve just burden this kid with a plethora of concerns. After all, in his eyes, you are just a lonely girl seeking a pet for companionship, just a lonely girl and not a strong one at that. You can see how the kid would be concerned with your wellbeing. You aren’t even slightly worried about your safety. If you ever felt at unease, you would simply keep a gun on your person to ease your nerves… he doesn’t know you that well though. If he did know you, he would be aware that you could lodge a bullet between Karkat's eyes under 2 seconds... but you wouldn't do that, no, nope, not gonna happen... well probably not.

 

  
**== > Jade soothe the stranger**

  
You can't help but want to ease the kid of his concerns. He is just as shy as Tavros. You lightly place a hand on his shoulder. The nervousness of the boy warrants your attention. You throw your warmest smile to the kid and confidently say, “I’m sure of it. I'll give this troll a good home whether he likes it or not.” Chase’s face burns red, you've obviously put him further on edge, your words are not as reassuring as you believed them to be.

Chase places a syringe in your palm. “You… should take this.” The boy looks ashamed of himself, and you easily piece together why. His bangs fall over his eyes, to hide both his guilt and embarrassment. It seems like he's been beating himself over drugging the troll.

Ordinarily, you would dispose of such an unsightly item. You are accustomed to drugs like this, you’ve been injected with a fair amount antipsychotics. You admit you may be a hair bit odd, but not hysterical. The first time you were taken to the loony bin was solely due to an unplanned encounter your estranged aunt. She found your stuffed grandpa/father/grandson… fuck reality, your family tree make no sense even to you. People don’t understand things that diverge from the guidelines of normalcy, but as long as you’re not a danger to anyone, those people should stay the fuck out of your life. You hated being on that wretched drug, it turned your brains into soup and made you act like a feral animal… not that you minded that second part. How you wish you had the grace of a wolf while retaining all the benefits of being a human. Poor Karkat has probably been pumped full of the drug to the point where he has lost means of communication. Out of curiosity, you find yourself whispering a query, “What’s this?”

  
“We… have to drug this one ma’am.” He gives a cursory glance over Karkat’s bare body. “He’s been threatening some of the other employees, but this” he taps the surge in your grasp, “seems to silence him.” You nod. He catches you staring at the cuts and bruises blemishing his skin, "oh... you can probably take I wild guess where these came from." He scratches the back of his neck, and sighs out,"be careful."

  
As you haul Karkat out of the building you reply, “I will and thank you, Chase. If anything happens I’ll be sure to come to you first.” At first, the kid is flustered from hearing you say his name without having told you it, but he soon realizes it’s on his chest. He blushes and waves his goodbyes, watching you exit the shelter with the inebriated troll. Karkat is placed in the passenger's seat while you take the wheel and drive like devil's hot on your heel all way the to Egbert's; you run a hand full of red lights... what can you say, you've got more money then time. It doesn't take you a long time to arrive at John's home, somehow you made it here without getting pulled over. The familiar tradition two story house beckons your entry you are happy to oblige.

 

 

 **== > Jade break into John’s house**  
**BREAK IN!?** That’s a laugh, you’ve never needed to break into this house **EVER**! You prefer to call your overt operation sneaking in; breaking in is what brutes do, and you are no brute. John is such a ditz; he usually forgets to lock one of the doors. You jiggle the handle of the front door… nope, it’s locked. You go to the back of the house and attempt to open the sliding door on the patio… shit, it is locked as well. Why on all of the day did John decide to wise up today? Oh well, you had a plan B anyway. Plan B was way easier to execute than plan A, but where is the fun in that? The fun of Plan A has just been murder by the simplicity of Plan B's tedious sensibility. Plan A is bisected then stuffed with cement, and dump into the Bermuda triangle; all these violent acts are committed by none other than Plan B's methodical hands. The evidence of fun ever existing in your idea to sneak into John's house has sunk to the bottom of North Atlantic Ocean to remain hidden for all eternity.

 

  
**== > Jade execute the lame plan B**  
You sigh in disappoint that your clandestine operation has come to an abrupt close, now you return to John’s front door. Your hand digs into your pockets to retrieve the spare key to the house that John gave you as well as Dave and Rose. It was a nice gesture, but you know the real reason he gave you this key was to stop you and Dave from constantly trying to sneak into his house.

 

**== > Jade get the Kat out of the Kar (beep beep meowwww)**

You return to your car to retrieve Karkat. He can barely stand, so you sling his arm around your shoulder and drag him into the house. You only have so much strength, so you decide to bring the intoxicated troll the family room to deposit his body on a leather couch. Karkat just stares up at you with his glazed over eyes; you can't see any emotions on his face whatsoever. You grow bored of watching the lifeless troll sprawled out on the couch; you decide talking to a friend would be an easy way to kill time. Once time is dead your deceased friend known as Plan A will have a buddy to chill with in the afterlife... at least that's what you'd like to think.

 

**== > Jade slaughter the seconds away**

What's a better waste of time than pestering your good old pals? You don't want to know or care to find out. You look at to see if any of your friends are currently available to chat, and to your delight, John is currently online.

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 16:26

 

CG: got a surprise for you :D

EB: i bet it awesome, like just about everything else you give me

CG: he is!

EB: he? did you get nick cage to see me?

CG: no silly, i can’t tell you. that would ruin the surprise

EB: well whatever, thanks jade for this awesomely cool dude who was totally not the lead actor in con aire

CG: you don’t even know what I got you

EB: oh I know

CG: >:l

 

You hear Karkat starting to stir around the house. Without wasting too much time contemplating about what you should do you decide it’s best to cut you chat with John short.

 

CG- hey john, i’ve kind of have to go.

EB- oh. ok? bye?

 

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 16:32 –

 

  
**== > Jade check on the troll**

You reluctantly pull away from the chat you were having with the adorkable John. WHO ARE YOU TO USE THE WORD ADORKABLE ON!? YOUR ALL THE DORK, AND ADORABLE THAT JOHN EGBERT IS AND THEN SOME!

To your surprise, you see that Karkat is up and about, after being in what appeared to be a vegetative state. It seems that the troll is rubbing itself on the furniture just as a cat would. This behavior isn't all that shocking to you, an animal enthusiast and admirer, this action is quite common in the animal kingdom. Karkat’s only tries to mark this house with his scent, which in your book qualifies as sweet. Oddly enough your troll friends didn’t do this; maybe it was the side effect of the antipsychotics rearing its ugly head.

  
“Karkat? Are you alright?” You do no anticipate an actual reply. By the by you didn’t ask the question for an answer, you only ask to see if the troll would respond to your presence or give some acknowledgment to you. Just one single response would provide you the thumbs up to leave him by himself, so you could go out and buy some clothes for the naked troll before John comes home.

Immediately after the question leaves your lips the troll’s head darts to your direction Karkat gives a warning snarl to assert his dominance, you bow your head to feign submission. Karkat strides over to you and pats your head in acceptance; you decide to take your leave, but as a safety precaution in the off chance that John comes home early you leave the vile of antipsychotics on a table near the front door.

From what you can tell Karkat was going to be a pleasant companion for John… well once the drugs wear off. Karkat didn’t seem too aggressive; he was just trying to make himself at home which is completely fine. However, John isn’t as accustomed to dealing will feral animal behavior as you have come to be, and this has yet to accrue to you. What’s the worst that could happen?

 

  
**== > Be John**  
It is your 21st birthday, and your shift at GameStop just ended about 15 minutes ago; your boss decided to let you go an hour early today, it isn’t that busy anyway. Due to your overwhelming excitement, you race all the way home pondering what remarkable thing Jade could have possibly gotten you this year.

Usually, you loathe returning to that empty house filled with an assortment of your dad’s jesters, clowns, and harlequins. You despise returning to that empty house filled to the brim with memories of your father and you. Now your all alone, your friend desperately try to alleviate your loneliness but the second they leave… you realize that you are alone yet again.

Dave has offered you to move in with him and has asked to live with you on multiple accounts, but you always turn him down. You love Dave, but not nearly as much as he loves you. He would go through hell for you, cut a vein for you, kill, steal, cheat, lie, and so much more for you… at times you find his devotion endearing, but usually, it scares you to no end.

 

 **== > John pull into your driveway**  
You’ve made it to your destination unscathed, a true triumph! The lights in your house are on, which is odd since there are no cars parked on the path asphalt leading to your garage. For a second you hesitate to abandon the safety of your car to meet the unknown threat inside your house. No, no Jade is just trying to pull a trick on you, but you are the fucking prank master you never shy away from a challenge as tempting as this, and you won't chicken out now. If you can debunk this novice’s trickery, you can bask in the glory of knowing you are the prank God, **not even Loki God of Mischief can pull his shenanigans on you!**

  
The second you enter your home a growl erupted from the dining room. The sounds of footsteps and claws scratching across the floor freeze your entire being. Suddenly your head collided with the cold, unforgiving wood flooring of the entryway. Someone had slammed you into the ground. To you dismay the ground is not offering you head a warm and tender greeting, inside the floor cruelly lets the back your head as well as the rest of you body feel the full impact of the collision. The wind is knocked out of you, you try to catch your breath, but you’ve gone into panic mode. There is a loud high pitch ringing in your ears; your body is too shocked to move.

You look up to see the attacker; beautiful crimson irises engulfed in pools of amber peered down at you. The intruder's ashen skin flawlessly covers his well-defined muscles, a razor shape jaw line, pointy ears, a mop of rave hair from which with two orange stubs are poking out. It takes a while for you to realize that the man on top of you is bare… that’s right there is not a shred of clothing covering him. In an attempt to escape you squirm under you captor, to no avail. Your captor outweighs you and his form towers over your quaking body.

  
“Get off.” You manage to rasp out, but your intruder does not adhere to your demand. The man brings his face a mere inch from yours and lets roar rattles out from its chest. Its claws dig deeply into your shoulder. You can feel your flesh tearing apart your skin feels as though it had been set on fire. Tears flow from out your eyes and burn down your cheeks, you've never known such pain; the sound is just as sickening you can hear the lovely monster perch above you digging mercilessly into your skin. He manages to harvest a chunk of skin… god, your arm looks fuck up.

For a second the demon watches blood poor from you freshly mutilated skin. You whimper out, “P-please... stop, y-you can have whatever you want.”

  
“Shush” you feel the attacker’s bloody hand softly press against your forehead in a soothing manner. Another whine escapes your throat.

“Shush” the for some reason unbeknown to you the interloper tries to calm you, and he almost successes. A long tongue slithers over your wound; you shiver at the sensation.

 

“John!” A voice shouts your name on the other side of your front door. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” Dave practically kick the door down; he has a box of apple juice in one hand and what can only be a gift wrapped poster in the other. He looks down to find a naked troll stranding you while it licks the blood on your arm. The demon's tongue feels like knives on the injury; you seethe in pain, but to Dave, it likely sounds like you're moaning. It takes Dave a couple of seconds to process what’s happening; he is beyond by pissed and emotionally pained from what you can tell.

“What the actual fuck Egderp!?” You think he can see the tears in your eyes and the blood pooling around your body, but his jealousy is clouding his judgment. You watch his eyes dart to something sitting on a small table in the entryway. Without a second notice stabs a syringe into the intruder's neck and he rips you away. He cradles you in his arms and carries you to his car only to deposit you in the passenger seat.

  
Dave takes his spot in the driver’s seat. Honestly, you don’t know if he was kidnapping you from the man you're having a non-existent affair with, or if Dave had originally planned to take you somewhere for your birthday. Either way, you're relieved that you got away from the interloper. Your mind goes fuzzy all you know at this moment is the pain in your shoulder, the world surrounding you has dissipated from your thoughts.

“…are you cheating on me?”  
He sounds broken, but you’re in so much pain you can focus on explaining what happened.

You clutch you bleeding arm and merely say. "help... me." Dave peers at you, all though you can’t see his eyes you swear he’s shocked as his face turns white.

“John, what did he do to you.”

You squeeze your eyes shut and wheeze out the only thing you can think of, “D...ave.” Your eyes have become too heavy to keep open.

...You can no longer be John Egbert

 

 

 **== > Be Dave**  
Shit!ShIt! SHIT!sHit! SHIT! Your sweet Egderp is bleeding profusely and has just begged you for help; All the while you were being a shitty dude and blaming your cute nerd of infidelity. How were you to know that the naked troll trying to get it on with your John also wanted to skin him? “I’m so sorry, John.”  
You speed all the way hospital, who truly gives a fuck about speed limits anyway. NOT YOU THAT'S WHO.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mawhahahaha the ending of another chapter... goodbyes to none


	3. I Didn't Ask for such Amazing Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose is kind of awesome in this for some reason. Character development?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT!? Another CHAPTER ALREADY that's crazy.

  
**== > Be Rose**

  
Your friend is in a heap of pain in more ways than one. John is facing physical agony while he continues to be tormented by the loss of his dad. The only reason you can read John so well is solely due to his loss, while you cannot understand his agony you feel it vicariously.You didn't shed one single tear when your mother died, and you hated yourself for it; What kind of monster doesn't mourn the loss of a loved one? You justified your lack of tears and grief through the presence of Roxy. Since you have Roxy you never felt like your mom was wiped from existence, you just felt like she had become a part of you and Roxy. Dave, as well as Jade, would never understand the extent of John’s pain since they had Jake and Dirk. Jane had her father, so she never connected to John.

  
**== > Rose contemplate about the Egbert Express**

  
John’s life is like a train to you. It continues to go forth chanting the mantra I think I can… probably… I think I can …probably I think I can… probably. Regrettably, the Egbert Express has been derailed by a fucking bomb of death and despair; Ever since that, the poor train has been traveling in the darkness of an endless tunnel for too long. Despite the Egbert Express not having a clear-cut track to whatever destination the railroad of fate has laid out for him, he continues to go on without hesitation.

  
You feel like your reason to live is to find the light in this dark episode in John's life and lead him back onto a path filled with happiness. Alas, John is but a wisp of air moving in every which way without any reason to worry, while still being tasked with facing the weight of his woes. It’s like you feel some type of bond with this boy as if the second his parent died you were granted the title of his guardian, despite how close the two of you are in age, you feel the urge to protect him from the darkness in the world that you've come to love.

 

 

==> **Be the Egbert Express, the little train that could... possibly**

  
You are once again John Egbert; you’ve been feeling uncharacteristically depressed after this moorings events. Who can blame you? You were attacked in your home, molested, and then assaulted again; it's only natural to feel somewhat out of sorts. Fortunately for you, your cuts are nothing compared to the last injury you dealt with.

 

 

**== > John Examine Room ==> **

  
You decide to take stock of your surroundings.

**Why the hell not, it isn’t like you’ve been in this room before. Oh, wait you have, just a few weeks ago. You came here due to being attacked by the troll Jade picked out for your birthday.----------------------------------------------------------------------**

The same fluorescent light bulbs hum over your head and bathe you in artificial light as you're perched on the same exam bed covered in some paper. Rose sits quietly on a chair in the corner, as the two of you wait for the doctor to assess the wound. The odiferous lemon scented disinfectant spray the nurses use to sterilize the room invades your nostrils and throws you into a sneezing fit. "Hey,"The room silent is cut by the sweet sound of your friend’s voice, “John, I’m sorry.” You think to yourself: _You haven’t got one thing to apologize for Rose. I should apologize for cursing you with my friendship._

You awkwardly scratch the back of your neck and wince in pain when you realize that bending your elbow causes your skin to tear a bit more. “Yeah... I’m sorry too, I’m such a wimp.” You watch droplets of blood stain the paper covering the exam table. “Not like you, or Dave. I don’t know why you guys bother to be friends with me.” She gazes at you, looking as though she's watching you falling apart, and you have reached a point far past repair. “You should realize by now that you're smart, beautiful, and kind. If you weren’t such a gloom and doom girl all the time you’d have the world at your fingertips.”

 

 

==> **Rose make him stop**

  
Disappointment and hurt are the only emotions that can be seen on your face. “Why are you saying this?”

  
“You, Jade, and Dave are the best people I’ve ever known.” He stares down at the blood trickling from his arms; the red droplets plummet to the exam table painting the paper that covers it with crimson stars. “I don’t know, how I got so lucky to have met you guys… or know how unlucky you all were to have befriended someone as worthless as me.” You can feel your heart shatter into a billion shards as you hear how torn up John is.

  
“That’s ridiculous! If anyone got the short end of the stick in the friend department, it would be you, John. Some lame girl void of universal emotions (me), a deranged anthropomorphic animal lover (Jade), and a narcissist that somehow has managed to love you more than himself are your closest friends; I don't understand why you think so highly of us. You are the sanest, and most down to earth person that I've ever encountered. If I didn't know you, I think that I would never have experienced friendship and whatever awful emotion I'm feeling now.” You never felt this emotional before; you didn’t believe that you even had emotions before John, Kanaya and all the others walked into your life.

You swear you can feel the shards of your heart being grounded into dust as you watch John crumble under the weight of his thoughts. “Don't ever doubt that. You’re so special to us. You don’t even know the extent to which you’ve helped each of us.”

Your words don’t get through to him, “I was thinking, you’d all probably be better off if I just… flew away.”  
 _Have I been so incompetent not to notice that John’s drowning in depression? Have I been so neglectful as to not pick up on his self-loathing?_

 

 

**== > John Cry **

 

You can’t stop yourself from sobbing. Ugly thoughts start to pollute every aspect of your mind.

 _I’m a disgusting waste of life. I am nothing more than a toy for the monster that’s taken over my house, and a burden for my friends to bare._  
“I’m just a burden to you all, a wimp who can’t care for himself, and nothing more.” Your head droops down to hide the tears forming at the edge of eyes.

  
“Shut up,” Rose gets up from her seat and wraps her arms around you, “you’re one of the few people who likes me as I am; Frankly I couldn’t give a damn if you’re a wimp or not, I’ll still be around to save your ass.” She smells of alcohol and lilacs a bittersweet scent. Her arms are warm amd comforting to you.

  
Your blood and tears are sinking into the white cotton of your dear friend’s squiddle shirt. “Rose… I’m sorry I’m ruining your shirt.”

  
“Dammit John, stop apologizing you have nothing to say sorry for.” She buries her head into you disheveled hair and says, “I honestly couldn’t care less about something as small a blood and tear stains on this shirt.”

  
“but—”

  
She interjects before you can get another word in, “Why can’t you realize that you’re so much more important than a shirt. If you ever leave me, you might as well as slit my wrists as well as Jade and Dave’s now.” You finally relax into the embrace. “Please… please don’t ever say or think such awful things again. You mean the world to us, isn’t that enough for you?” With a simple nod, you silently reply.

**Knock Knock**

The doctor finally enters the room. “Salutations children,” he pauses for a moment to observe the two of you, “Aw what a heartwarming sight.” The familiar porcelain white skin, gray pearl like eyes, and snow color hair catches your attention immediately. Scratch is this man's name; He is one of your father's companions, who had often took care of you whenever your father went on a business trip for an extended period of time.

Rose untangles herself from the hug and growls out, “We are not children.” 

“When you reach my age, you will find that everything is young—”

  
“I don’t think you’re in a position to say something like that. You look to be only a few years older than us.” Rose is right your doctor looks to be somewhere around the age of 25; This man has been in your life before you can even remember, he should be about 50 and yet he looks so young. You've never question why Scratch didn't seem to age, but now that Rose points it out it strikes you as some sort anomaly.

  
“Your flattery will get you EVERYWHERE, but enough with the fabulous fawning I so do adore. As much as I’d like to bathe in your compliments, this conversation has grown quite tedious; shall we focus on the task at hand miss?” His pale gray eyes dart towards Rose as a smug smirk pulls at the corners of his lips. _She only stated the obvious; she wasn’t trying to stroke your goddamn enormous ego._

Rose sneers, “That would be splendid.”

  
“Fantastic,” he clasps his hands together, “now I assume your fine with having this young lady present in the room while I inspect the your stitches?” You nod your head. “If you don’t mind me asking what is your relationship?”

  
Your silence gives Rose the cue for her to answer on your behalf. “I am his guardian, and my name Rose La Londe.” Her words are perplexing to you. _When did we establish that!?_

  
“How odd, and here I thought that Strider boy from before was his guardian or maybe partner.” He shrugs for some reason unbeknownst to you. “It’s a pleasure to meet your acquaintance La Londe; I am Doctor Scratch, but you may address me as Mister Villain Milkshake.  
“I'm not going to call you that.”

**== > Rose finger the fuck out of this**

“You know Dave?”

  
“Yes, if my recollection serves me right I believe we meet on the 13th." He bends over to John and whisper something to him, you just watch. The doctor ends up give him a box wraped in white paper.

You slightly irratated that the Doctor stop telling his story mid way. "As you were saying?"

"Aw yes, John had quite the gash on his shoulder. Speaking of which it’s about time I take out those stitches.”

You are given a new piece of information with every second that passes in this hospital. “Why did John have to get stitches on his birthday? You said that his sholder was injured, do you why?” 

“Unfortunately I am not at liberty to tell the tale.” The doctor pinches his index and thumb together and slides them horizontally across his lips as if he were zipping them shut; you aren’t concerned because the man seemed to be a blabber mouth so he'll probably tell you sooner or later.

  
You look to John for some sort of response, “Karkat” is all he manages to say.

  
During the entirety of the conversation the doctor had previously had with you, he hadn’t taken a good look at John, until now. “Well… that’s new.”

  
“Yeah, we didn’t come here to have you take out the stitches, but you might as well.” The doctor doesn’t take stock in what you’re saying anymore; The doctor only focuses on John as if nothing else in the world matters to him.

  
“John,” The eccentric doctor practically purrs out John’s name, “I truly appreciate your efforts, but you don’t have to get yourself maimed  just to pay me a visit.” You watch the man inspect the wound. “Well I wish I could tell you that medical adhesive would do the trick, but this is far too deep.” John remains unresponsive to the Doc Scratches voice. “Since you’re no longer a minor it’s not my place as a doctor to ask you this, but as a friend of your father and as someone who cares for you I must ask; are you being abused, John?”

  
Tears trickle down John’s cheeks you’re not sure if the water works were brought on by the mention of his father or the thought of Dave abusing him. John finally answers the man, “…no.”

“This is a safe place, I won’t tell a soul, so I’ll ask you one more time, John. Is someone hurting you.” John doesn’t voice his reply this time he just shakes his head. “I wish you would tell me what’s wrong.”

_That makes two of us._

“Well… I’m going to patch you up, and you’ll be as good as new.” The doctor tries his best to sound cheery, but you can hear the melodious melancholy muffled through the feigned chipper tune. 

You watch how he aggressively clears the dirt from the blood oozing wounds. Scratch retreives a needle off of a silver tray place on the counter to his right. The needle slips in and out of John’s skin seamlessly until he finishes his seam work. Both of John's arms look somewhat back to normal despite the crisscross of the thread that holds his skin together. The man dresses John's sewn up arm with guaze to the point John's forearms look as if they haf been torn off a mummy's body and given to him.

   
“While you’re here I might as well as remove you other stitches; they should be healed up by now.” John nods yet again to respond wordlessly. Doc Scratch cut the crisscrossing strings that have been crusted over with blood and puss; he pulls the thread from the abused skin. “I guess that’s it, kids. As nice as it is to see your adorable faces, I hope I don’t find the two of you here again.” To the untrained ear, these words could be construed as rude, but you know what he means. "John, if you ever need me, you know how to contact me." John smiles to the doctor and waves goodbye before he leaves the room cradling the white he just recieved.

Before you get the chance to leave the room the doctor grabs your arm and cups a gloved hand around your ear. He whispers, “Rose before you go I have a favor to ask.”  
You manage to get his hand away from your ear, so you can have a casual conversation without feeling as though your space is being violated. “Alright, shoot.”

“I am not exactly sure what your relationship is with John, but it seems as though you care a great deal for him just as I do.” He pauses for a moment, “You see I can tell he’s lying to me.”

“How do you guess?”

“I’m omnipotent,” he says this in a deadpan voice, and you believe it for a moment, “… well actually if you look at the back of his head and his shoulder blade you’ll find a fair number of bruises litering his skin.”

“I see, so you truly believe that he is the victim of some sort of domestic depute.”

“I can’t help but be concerned. I just wanted to ask you to put John up for a while, he’s acting odd, and I don’t want John to go back to that empty house alone. Please take him home with you.”

You pull away from the man’s grasp. “I 've tried on multiple accounts to have John move into my house before, as did Dave and Jade but he refuses all offer.”

“Thank you for trying. It's nice to know he's got friends like you to help him.” He turns his back on you and goes to change out the paper covering the exam table. You catch up with John, who is waiting by the entrance of the building staring out of a window at the parking lot.

* * *

**== >Rose get in your car **

You and John climb into your deep pearl black 2017 Volkswagen Beetle convertible and play The Ghost Inside by Broken Bell. You put down the top of your car. It’s gorgeous outside; the sky is a brilliant blue, the very same color of John’s eyes, and its void of clouds. The sun is glaringly bright, but for John’s sake, you won’t complain about something so insignificant. It is about 80º you’re not accustomed to the heat, truthfully you recently moved here just to be near John. 

Dave was the one who ordained this move, whether he knew it or not. Obsession is something that courses through your family’s veins; your obsession has manifested itself into a numer of odd hobbies, Dirk’s passion lies with Jake, Roxy enjoy booze… a bit too much, and Dave’s fixation is set on John. When Dave decided to relocate to Maple Valley WA, you knew exactly why. If Dave had decided to pursue someone or something else you wouldn’t have felt any concern, but no he had to ~~fall~~ face plant in love with John Egbert. For some reason, existing outside of your knowledge you felt your motherly instincts kick in. John is pure, lovable, and geeky while Dave… is a douche, charming in his own right, but a douche nonetheless; Dave is possessive and manipulative which are two qualities John doesn't know how to deal with, which why your here so Dave won't mentally scar your friend.

You are rich beyond belief so uprooting from Rainbow Falls, New York to Maple Valley, Washington didn’t put a nick in your fortune… nope, not even a ghost of a scratch was put on your wealth from the move. Just for reference, you have more money than Bill Gates could ever dream of having, and that isn’t including the wealth that Dirk and Dave (your dad/brother and brother) obtain. Between the gargantuan amount royalty checks, Roxy receives from her mom’s (you?) book the Complacency of the Learned, and the substantial sum of money your mother (Roxy?) compiled from her scientific findings the two of you are set for life.

 

**== > Rose cheer up John**

John is slouched over in the passenger seat he remains silent. As you make it to a freeway wind starts to dance around the car, and John puts his hand outside the window to feel the breeze swirl around his fingers. You have never been great at reading people or one to pick up on the most obvious social cues, but when it came to John, you knew almost every trick in the book to make him feel better. At times like this, you swear you would do just about anything to see him smile, to hear him geek out about some lame movie, or to playing victim to one of his ridiculous pranks. John has always been capable of making you smile and laugh, so you feel obligated to return the favor. Whenever John was feeling down the wind also seemed to be uplifting for him, yet another thing you wouldn't understand.

 **Rose’s Guide on how to make John Feel better**   
1\. Find somewhere windy or go for a drive with the windows open  
2\. Play his favorite songs  
3\. Shitty movie quotes  
4\. Pranks  
5\. See some crappy movie  
6\. Don’t leave him alone  
7\. Sweets

“Rose...” John finally says something so you can begin to use you strategy. “Rose?”

  
At first, you act like you don’t hear him calling your name until finally, you say, “You talking to me?” _Good Lord, I feel like an ass-hat, but it’ll be more than worth it in the end._

“…what?” To your surprise John doesn’t pick up on the quote, maybe you didn’t say it with enough enthusiasm. 

“You talking to me? You talking to me!? Well, I’m the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?” As degrading as it is to quote Robert De Niro verbatim your overjoyed to see a smile comes into bloom on John’s face. 

“Hardy har har, Rose I’m the king of movie quotes, don’t think you can pull one over me.” He pauses, “you don’t even like Taxi Driver.” He’s right the movie was not your cup of tea, but for him, you would convince yourself that Taxi Driver was the best thing that ever came into existence.

“Meh, after watching an absurd number of movies Robert De Niro grew on me. He’s like my equivalent to your Nicolaus Cage.”

“That is not impossible; De Niro is no match for the Cage.” He sighs out, “Anyway I was going to say this isn’t the way home.” 

“Yes… I’m pretty sure it is. You must be confused after taking that fall. Maybe we should turn back so we can have that Mr. Villain Milkshake check to see if you have a concussion.” 

“Ha HA ha! Look I remembered to laugh! Everybody, please give it up for the up-and-coming comedian miss Rose La Londe.” 

You decide to play along with his remark, “Please, your making me blush. What can I say? I’ve always dreamed of spreading laughter and happiness across the globe." You chuckle at the thought of being a comedian, the only form of humor you enjoy falls on the darker side of comdic spectrum. "Anyhow, we are going home,” you point at your iphone 7, "This is the fastest route."

  
“Well it must not be going to my home, and this is not the way to your house either. Are you taking me the campus?” When did he become so skeptical? Maybe it’s a good thing.

  
“No way in hell, this is just an alternate route so it looks different." John retreats back into his silence until you ask, "You want to know something?” 

John looks at you with pure curiosity sparkling in his eyes, “What?”

“What I am about to tell you is an incredibly valuable life lesson that should never be forgotten, okay?”

“Okay, just tell me already.”

“There is no place like home.”

“No, I guess there’s not… wait, DAMMIT Rose. I walked right into that.”

“Pffffttt, yup.” You are about five miles away from your destination. “Hey John, close your eyes and put your hand out the window.”

“Why?”

“Just trust me.” John complies with your request. “I used to do that whenever my mom drove me somewhere; I would image that the sky surrounded me and I was able to convince myself that I was flying. She alway be singing while I go lost in the sea my imaginations, and her voice was like a life saver preveneting me for being drowning in some of my more unsavory delusions.” 

“I miss watching movies all day and all night with my dad. I bet you miss your drives with your mother just as much, right?"

“Of course, John, but when she died, I realized that I had my friends to keep me going. Even though she’s gone, I can feel a piece of her in myself. Since I found you, Kanaya, Dave, Jade, and everyone else I was too happy to let myself dwell on her passing.” You sigh, “It’s as though she’s left, but a piece of her has stayed with me.” For some reason, you feel something wet slide down your cheek… a tear?

“Rose… you're crying.” _I don't cry_

You wipe your eyes and look down at unfamiliar droplets on the back of your hand. "I... am." You rub your eyes some more before realizing you can hardly see the road due to the tear obstructing your vision. "Hey... do you think you could drive... for a while?” John just nods, he’s never seen you cry and neither have you for the matter. You can’t remember the last time you’ve cried or have ever cried. You pull over and switch seats in a matter of seconds. Once you're in the passenger seat you seal your eyes shut and hold your hand out the window, for a moment it feels like your mom is driving in the seat next to you singing along with the radio. It feels like your flying. “Please, don’t tell anyone about this.”

  
“There isn’t anything wrong with feeling pain.” He starts singing the lyrics to All Day All Night along with the vocalist of Moon Taxi and hides the sound of your soft sobs under the melody.

 

_Well I don't know just where I've been,_

_Same clothes on my back again,_

_And if you see me in the morning,_

_You're bound to see me hanging by a thread,_

_One more time before I go,_

_One more night before I know,_

_And if you see me in the evening,_

_You're bound to see me out of my head,_

_And I'll Be Going,_

_All Day_

_and All Night,_

_Eyes Are Open,_

_All Day and All Night,_

_Keep Me Goin_

 

Even with your eyes closed the tears manage to creep out from the seams. This is first time you felt your mom's absence in you life, and this is the first time you've cried. Is it John is the first person you open up to, or have you been repressing this for too long? No one can say why this is happening now, not even yourself. Despite your choked out sobs you successfully say, “Thank you, John.” _What’s wrong with me… with us?_

 

 

**== > Rose pester Kanaya**

  
You pull out your phone to reach Kanaya. You’ve managed to shut off your water works and connect your partner.

  
\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 17:19

  
   
TT: So.

TT: How has it been going with Karkat

GA: At The Moment He Seem To Be Pretty Much Sober

TT: That was fast, do all trolls have a faster recovery rate than humans?

GA: No. From What I Have Deducted Karkat Has Not Been Given A Dosage For Some Time Now.

 I Also Do Not Believe That John Was The One Dispensing The Drug To Karkat

TT: May I ask what lead you to that conclusion

GA: I Have Searched The House And Found Nothing. John Has Not Aquired The Mean To Drug Karkat

TT: Is that strange

GA: Well Maybe Not Strange But Odd

GA: Anyway It Seems That Karkat Is His Usual Loud Mouth Self. How Is John?

TT: He is actually helping me come to terms with the lose of my guardain.

TT: I am not sure how he ended up consoling me when he is the one in need of comforting

TT: Anyway I will bringing John home immediately

GA: Really? Are Now Is The Time To Be Doing This? It Just Seems Like A Level Of Trust Should Established Before John Excepts 

TT: Yes, why do you ask?

GA: I Just Think That A Level Of Trust Should Established Between The Two Of Them Before They Become Roomates. 

GA: Karkat Has Been Asking About Him Alot. I Find His Curiosity For The Boy To Be Of Concern

TT: It is crucial that they try to bond soon.

 

TT: This isn’t something to put off

GA: I Suppose Not. I Will See You Soon?

TT: Yes

TT: Just in a matter of minutes.

GA: What A Relief

TT: Till than love.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 17:22 –-

 

 

 

 

* * *

Here are the links to the songs reference in this chapter

[The Ghost Inside- Broken Bells](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mojL3wAfuCA)

[All Day All Night- Moon Taxi](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTZf3F9wIXk)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any error, AGAIN I'm am a shitty proofreader.


	4. I Didn't Ask if You Were Ok... are you ok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiger warning, you don't have to earn your stripes by reading this chapter if it makes you uncomfortable. Have a grrreat memorial day, best of wishes to you all. (by the by this is a tony the tiger reference and a trigger warning... with that being said you've been warned)

**== > Be Kanaya**

  
An excellent choice, you have become the lovely Kanaya Maryam. It seems as though your friend is having his fair share of difficulties adapting to his new living arrangements. In truth, it is nothing short of a miracle that you and your eleven friends were able to find a haven on this planet. It is shocking how this planet's inhabitants' mannerisms are dictated by which region they reside. The people who occupy this small section of the world are hospitable, but just a couple miles from the friendly, safe suburbs is the unkind crowded city. You initially landed in a place called Tukwila; to say you had a rough start when you first arrived would be the understatement of the century.

* * *

* * *

 

 

 

**== > Flashback**

Darkness submerges all that I see; I am only left to take solace in the emptiness that this void has so graciously offered me. An unfamiliar screech that adores singing in my ears disrupts any thoughts that I construct in the shadows of my consciousness. Has Death finally come to bestow their bitter-sweet salutation upon me, or have I somehow survived the ship's impact. My state of existence is murky, but one thing is clear; Someone had shot down our ship before we had the chance to set foot on the planet. My hope has finally met its demise. We managed to find a planet capable of sustaining our race; This fantastic news has been destroyed by those who are occupying this oasis in the infinite span of space, these inhabitance want nothing more than our inhalation.

 

“Kan—”  
“Kana—”  
“Kanaya.”  
“Kanaya, pur-ase wake-up!” I feel someone’s tear hitting my face. Maybe these tears belong to my eyes. That familiar voice sounds so far off. These tears could not belong to them. “Wake up, their coming!” The voice squeals out, “Equius let go of me!” It sounds as though she is struggling to escape her captor's grasp; he must be far too powerful for her to fight off. “Let GO!” Her heart-breaking sobs seem to be limitless; I have not the faintest idea why someone would be calling me. “KANAYA!”

  
“We don’t have time for this, Nepeta.” Their voices have faded away, and to my dismay darkness has begun to reject me as well. 

 

Raindrops welcome me to the waking world. There is a strange pressure in my abdomen… some gross peach colored man clad in atrocious green garb, has me slung over his shoulder just like a sack of powdered grub sauce. I cannot say that I have ever had the displeasure of seeing such oddly pigmented beings before, everyone I know of is the color of ash.

  
The man toting me through the unknown land has begun to contact someone with a cellular communication gadget, “We’ve captured another one, sir.” He pauses to listen to the person on the other end of the line, “It appears to be female, around the age of 20. No, it’s not dangerous.” Although I cannot hear the other half of the conversation, my imagination can fill in the gaps. “What should I do with it?”

This seems like a proper moment to interject. “It would be appreciated if you could let me down, that is what you could do with _it_.” The man ignores my remark, and continue to make a series of grunts to reply the other party.

  
The man concludes the conversation by saying, “Shelter it is.” He put the communication device back in his pocket and makes his way to a car that I can only assume to be his. The ride is silent; the man will not look, or speak to me until he stops in front of a building. “Get out.” I choose to comply, after all, I am at a complete disadvantage here, fighting him would be suicidal. Remaining as calm and level headed as I can be under these, less than favorable, circumstances would be the best method of action. He escorts me into the build and allowing me the privilege of walking this time around.

The inside of the shelter is nothing more than a pet store for fuzzy beasts. Isles full of toys, care products, treats, and little creature accessories fill the building. Tucked in the far corner of the building is a counter and behind it, sits a teenaged girl with a ghostly complexion and orange hair. What beings lack a standard hue for their outer shells? “Helloooo Rich!” the teen waves her arms in a grand gesture to welcome this man…Rich, was it? I cannot fathom why she seems so eager to see this brute of a man.

  
To my surprise, Rich cracks a smile at the energetic girl. “Sup, Rip?” I find myself watching in awe as the two bump their fist into each other. What an odd greeting.

  
“I see you brought in another one.” The girl sighs, “I think that is the 7th one this week.”

 

Rich looks somewhat concern by the teen's comment. “Are they becoming a problem for you? It would be easy for me to put them in place. Just say the word.”

 

“No, no nono no it’s just weird. You know?” The girl’s chocolate brown eyes dart towards me. “I mean, look at her!” she gestures toward me, “does she look like a pet to you?” My captor, Rich, shakes his head. “Exactly! I wanted a job where I could help out some cute animals, not well… a job as heavy handed as taking care of men and women. I mean that’s all they are.” She pauses for a moment, “Do you even know how degrading it is to be placed in an animal shelter?”

  
The man just shakes his head in response to her rambling and pretends to listen to her. “I gotta head out now. goodbye Rip.” He leaves me in this strange building, with this strange girl, all is strange.

 

  
**== > Be the strange girl**  
  
How rude you are not just some strange girl! You have a name, despite not being a major catalyst in this story **YOU HAVE A NAME DAMMIT!** After all, everyone has a name, and yours is Ruth Ida Price. You as well as your parents have a similar sense of humor that tends to fall on the darker side of the comedic spectrum. In short, when you were born they were set on giving you the initials R.I.P. which you've grown to love, you prefer to be call Rip over Ruth.

“Goddammit, why do I always get stuck with this job?” Although you thought no one heard you, the troll lady definitely did; You kind of forgot she was there for a minute. You watch the beautiful alien laugh at your awkwardness, “My names Ruth, but please call me Rip, and as odd as it is… I’ll be your caretaker for the time being.” It is weird, your younger than the women who stands in front of you and yet you have been presented with the duty of tending to her as though she were some pet.

  
The troll only smiles, “it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance Ruth," You're somewhat disappointed that the cool troll lady didn't address you as Rip, but you'll let it slide for the time being. "I am Kanaya Maryam. If I may ask what job were you just referring to?”

 

  
**== > Ruth answer the troll lady **

  
“Well… um,” _Shit why is this always so hard for me?_ You get out a medical nightgown that is usually used for hospital patients. “You’re going to have to undress and change into these gowns.”

  
You take a gander at Kanaya who is scornfully glancing at the apparel your holding. You are required to dress all the trolls in these gowns, and for the trolls who don’t receive this end up going bare. Her index finger points at it, a long knife like nail barely grazes the blue material. “I have to wear this?” She sounds as if she is sickened by the sight of the apparel you've shown her.

You are dissolving into laughter at her misplaced dismay. All the other trolls who came here didn’t give a rat’s ass about what they had to wear, so long as they got something to wear; you're running low on nightgowns, so some of the trolls don't even have clothes. Oh, your giggles die down you give an answer, “Yeah, I mean, at least until someone adopts you. Judging by from appearance, you won’t be staying here for too long.”

 

  
**== > Kanaya Day 8 at the shelter**

“Kan! Kan!” You can hear Ruth wailing your nickname across the store. Your indifferent towards the use of that nickname, but when Ruth uses it you feel like your home. Ruth had tried to get you to address her as Rip, but you detest calling her that.  You watch the orange haired girl scurry across the shelter to your cell. “Kan, great news! Someone has come to adopt you.” Your heart drops at hearing this; you started to feel somewhat safe with Ruth, and now your being torn away from her comfort. You felt like you knew her; she would be the product if you mixed Terezi’s weirdness, with Nepta’s energy, and Feferi’s cheerful personality together. You have been with Ruth you assumed the role of an older sister to her. You gave her fashion tips, romance advice, and other seeds of wisdom that she followed without question.

  
You feel as if she is stabbing your heart with a butcher's knife. “And you are happy about this?”

  
“Of course aren’t you?” Her chipper tune paired with that unfaltering smile is only twisting the knife lodged in your chest. “Aren’t you just excited to be leaving this hell hole?”

“You are that glad to see me go?” 

Ruth’s smile wavers. “No,” her brown eye stares deep into yours, “but I’m trying to be happy, for you. I want to you stay here, but I don’t want this life for you. At least if you are adopted, you will get a chance at having a normal life, unlike the one you’ll have here.” Her eyes are locked on the floor; she does not spare a glance at you, it is obvious that she does not want to see how disappointed you are in her. 

  
“Hey,” Ruth does not respond to your voice. “Look at me!” you growl out the demand. “I am not angry, dissapointed, or upset in anyway a at you.” She nods and opens the cell. 

 

  
**== > Ruth deliver Kanaya to the adopter**

  
As you guide Kanaya across the shelter you stare at the tiles in front of you that your feet have yet to step on; you try to drag out this short stroll across the confines of the shelter to the man who wants to take Kanaya from you.

  
Once you reach the asshole, you ask a series of **mandatory** questions verbatim.

  1. Do you have the paperwork filled out?
  2. A current driver’s license or ID?
  3. Have you ever been accused of… animal abuse?
  4. Will you or a loved one be present to take proper care of this… pet regularly?



You hate yourself for labeling Kan with words like animal o pet, but there isn’t a goddamn thing you can do. The man hands you all the necessary paperwork, his driver’s license, and everything else you could ask for.

“One moment sir, I’ll just have my supervisor go over these documents, and the two of you will be on your… way.” You practically choke out the last word, saying that made everything about this situation all the more real to you.

 

 

**== > Ruth Make like a tree and leaf **

Just like the leaves of a weep willow you are blown away with wind, leaving Kan and the stranger alone for a moment so you can have Laura verify and copy the information into the organization’s database. Unfortunately for you, the man’s information checks out, so this will probably be the last you see of Kanaya. You go to your locker in the back of the building. You collect a long red skirt, black blouse and a necklace with a pendent of the Virgo symbol carved from jade; this was the outfit Kanaya wore when she first arrived here. It is protocol for you to dispose of all troll belongings once they enter the shelter, but you choose not to toss it. You found yourself bonding with Kan within the first hour you met her, so you couldn't toss out your friend's treasured belongings.

  
  
**== > Ruth return to Kanaya**  
Once you make your way back to Kan, you take a second to study the man who’s adopted her. He is attractive it is undeniable, but his allure is similar to that of a snake. One of his eyes is a piercing ice blue, while the other eye has been sealed shut likely due to the damage from the vertical scar that starts from his check and ends just above his eyebrow. The man’s hair is jet black and styled in a crew cut. He sports a 12o’ clock shadow; you spy a spade tattoo peeking out from under the collar of his shirt. He’s dressed in black dress pant, a matching sports coat, a white button up shirt, and a tie decked out with black spades.

  
“Look, kid, I don’t got all day. I am not here to sit here while you ogle me.” His gruff Brooklyn accent catches you off guard.

  
“R-right, um. Sorry, I was just spacing out a bit. I don’t think I caught your name.”

  
“The name’s Jack Noir, don’t wear it out, spacey.” He gives you a wink, but you aren’t quite sure since he only has one eye. It seems like a wink if you ever did see one.

 

  
You peel your eyes for the Devil’s incarnate and revert your attention back to your pal. Despite the horns protruding from her skull you’d swear that Kan is an angel in comparison to this thuggish looking man, “Kan,” you throw a smile at her. “I’ve got a goodbye surprise.” You shove the clothes into her arms. “I thought you’d be happy to wear your clothes rather than the gown. You’re still holding her necklace, but you decide to clasp it around Kan’s neck. The piece of jewelry looks like it was made especially for her it would look wrong on anyone else. 

  
“Thank you so much Ruth-Rip.” Kanaya drags you into a hug, “I will miss you more than you can imagine.” Your jaw drops at hearing her use your nickname for the first time in ever.

  
“Back at ya’ Kan. You’re seeds of infinite wisdom, and offbeat humor will all be well missed. I don’t think I’ll get the chance of meeting someone as unexpectedly awesome as you.”

 

  
**== > Be Jack**

You are now Jack... not the awesome samurai one, no your the shitty Jack and you will not go back to the past. Your quiet sleeze master, criminal kingpin if you will, and almost everyone knows it. A few weeks back that bitch called Snowman sliced your eye and your bit touchy about it at the moment; The ginger who was just oogling you isn't help with you be less self concous.    
“Yeah, yeah, yeah enough of this; As touching as all of this is we’ve got to head out, now.” You grab your new pets arm and drag her out of this shitty building and toss her in the back seat of your car.  
“I am your owner, that much is probably clear ta ya. I am gonna to lay down a few rules for ya. Rule number one, don’t piss me off. Actually, that’s pretty much it.” You pause, for a moment, and see the confusion in your troll eyes. “Sorry, that wasn’t fair of me. You’re probably wondering what would piss me off. If you look at me the wrong way, talk, disobey me, or try to escape I’ll go fucking ballistic. Am. I. clear?” The troll in the back seat just nods as you drive to your next destination.  
You arrive in an alleyway occupied with the shady figures that you're proud to call your gang. The troll has yet to know why you adopted her, but it will only be in a matter of seconds before she realizes. “Here we are. Now be a dear, and **get out**.” Kanana or whatever her name complies to the demand.

 

 

**== > Jack surprise the midnight crew**

  
Dense gray clouds spill out a copious amount of water. You would be damned not to reward your gang for their good work just because the damn sky chose to                                                      spit out a shit ton of rain on you. “Boxcars, Droog, Deuce! Look what I got for the lot of ya.” Diamond Droog is unimpressed by your generous gift. Deuce and Boxcar look delighted as they gawk at the female troll. The larger one is practically drooling, and you haven’t the faintest idea what to do while the boys have their fun. You simply glide towards a dumpster and perch yourself upon the green putrid scent box.

  
“Don’t mind if I do.” The large oaf heads for your pet like a shark going in for the kill; honesty you could give a shit though… you are just here for the show. The girl gets slammed into a decaying brick wall in the alleyway, and Boxcar disposes of the medical gown the girl had been sporting only a necklace covers a slither of her skin. You watch in silence as your muscle man’s thick hands travel across the narrow span of the troll’s gray skin; jade liquid seeps out from her eyes.

  
Droog strolls up to your side and presents you with a condemnatory gaze. Only three words come to your head, “What up, Dia?”

“I’m not one to take the moral high ground, but this is disgusting.” He glances to the troll being molested by Boxcars. “I thought we were a gang, not a group of aspiring rapists.” Boxcars has gotten hard, or you assume he has from your perspective since he is freeing his member from the confines of his constricting jeans. You're barely paying attention to Dia's griping.

  
“Who am I to deny you guys a fun time? I just giving ya all an opportunity to play with my pet, who said anything about rape?” You are happy with the reply you strapped together.

  
“She is not a fucking pet, that” he points to the gray-skinned lady, “is a girl.”

  
“pfffftttt, chill your tits, Dia. She isn’t even put up a fight.” Droog doesn’t buy your bullshit for a second.

 Your pet is doing an incredible job at keeping her trap shut; you haven’t heard one peep from her. “DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH ME!” Well… she was doing a fine job up until now; you suppose you won’t punish her given that there couldn't possibly be a worse punishment than what she’s going through now. 

  
Smack  
Smack  
Smack  
Smack  
Smack

  
You cringe at the sound of Boxcars backhanding the girl’s face repeatedly without any restraint; he resumes fondling the troll’s nipples. Your pet’s face is sure to be all shade black and blue when her bruises start to show. She remains unresponsive to all his advances. Her whimpers grow as Boxcars' cock rubs her crotch repeated back and forth against her clit. “Please… stop.” Boxcars hums in appraisal; the sick fuck loves to hear people beg. The brute start to lick the girl from her tits to her neck. His dick is throbbing; you genuinely don’t know why he doesn’t just fuck her already.

“Can you just FUCK her already!?” The second those words leave your mouth you feel the end of Diamond’s barrel against your temple. Huh... this is how it all ends, weird. Well shit.

  
**Bang**

  
… you can no longer be Jack Noir.

 

  
**== > Kanaya kill them**

The bastard who can’t seem to keep his dick to himself is now harassing your chest with his tongue while he aggressively grinds his cock between your thighs. It would be idiotic to fight this hulking man off you. There is not a single doubt in your mind telling you that couldn’t kill this brute in a matter of seconds. No it would be easy kill him, but there is Jack, and his other two lackeys are watching you.

  
**Bang**

the sound of freedom sings in your ears and the smell is a feast for your nostrils. Jack is dead and by the hands one of his men nonetheless. 

  
"What the Fuck Dia!” The other henchman cries out.

  
You watch the glorious liquid pool around Jack’s corpse, the man humping you doesn’t seem to give a damn about his dead boss; he continues to probe your body with his tongue and grimy fingers. You gag at the undesired contact. It is normal for such loving strokes of the skin to be a pleasant sensation; however, this male's fingers feel similar to slugs scouring across your body and leaving a trail of slime where their touch lingers. You want to rid yourself of your soiled skin, peeling strips of the tainted integument piece by piece away until only muscles remain. The large man finally settles on licking away at your neck; your attention is fading from your harasser to the bleeding body. Your nose is filled with the scent of blood; your body is craving the delightful drink. An idea starts to come into formation for the intoxicating fragrance of the rich crimson liquid. “Hey, that feels fucking excellent,” you whisper in a forged breathy voice against the cell of his ear, “want me to try it on you?” You nimble on the man’s ear lobe while waiting for a reply, and of course, he nods like a fool. You lick his neck tantalizingly slow before stopping to lightly graze his skin with the tips of your fangs, the brute shivers at the feeling. You bring yourself to a halt, the male growl in response just like a feral animal in heat. “Would you like me to proceed?”

  
“Didja even need ta ask?” He is now flush against you. With that, you sink your incisors into the nape of the man’s neck and indulge in a delightful snack.

 

  
**== > Be Diamond Droog**

You have just murdered your boss, and it felt amazing; you wish you could do it again, and again, and again… maybe it'd be good just to kill this man until the end of eternity. If the bastard was going let Boxcars and Deuce rape people, then you should get to kill people (or them) … it’s only fair. Killing, stealing, vandalizing, and all the other crap is pretty enjoyable, but this is just nauseating. You have a wife and daughter, imagining them in the place this troll girl’s shoe is a nightmare you’ll never get to erase from your thoughts.

  
“YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!” Boxcars screams as if he has been shot; his body falls limp. The girl, he has been assaulting mouth drips with his blood. God, there is so much blood it practically covers her naked body. The rain isn’t enough to wash all the red from her form. The girl bends down to the lifeless body; she effortlessly slices the inanimate man laying below her with the talons she has as nails. Numerous incisions are made into Boxcar’s now mutilated corpse.

  
She looks at you with jade spilling from her eyes, “he… I requested him to stop.” You just nod. You know she didn’t want to kill anyone, but this was the only way she’d get out of this situation without being raped and probably killed.

You sigh to yourself; you have to get the fuck out of here if you don’t want to land your ass in the slammer. Deuce finally realizes that two of his friend have just been kill before his very eyes. “If you think the two of you are gonna get away with this, I’ve got some bad news.” Before you can reload you, pistol Deuce retrieves a switchblade from his pocket he slit your throat before you get the chance to aim your gun at him. Out of the corner of your eye, you see a voyeur with golden hair, pale white skin, and purple eyes; this is the last thing you get to see. You wanted to see you daughter make a family, you wanted to grow old with your wife, and now your dead body is going to be found in an alleyway. This isn’t how you wanted to go; this isn’t how you wanted your family to see you as, but it’s too late for regrets this is your last day on the earth. This is the path you chose, these are the cards you've been delt, and this is the last round you'll play.

You can no longer be Diamond Droog

 

 

**== > Be the Voyeur **

  
What a rude thing to label a person! You are not a voyeur; you prefer to call yourself a spectator. It just so happens that you were walking around the shopping center on the shadier side of the city in the rain, you’re not a huge fan of the sun, so this is the prime time for you to make an absurd amount of purchases.

By chance, you happened to stumble upon, and interesting scene; a gray skinned woman was being molested by some thug and ended up sucking the life out of him. You planned to intervene if the situation escalated, but the troll girl seem to have gained controll over the situation. Unfortunately, now you are witnessing her being torn up by the dipshit with a switch blade. All of this is beside the point; you can tear your eyes away from the troll standing before you. She has been robbed of her clothes, stripped of her dignity, and yet she looks like the god of death. 

 

 

**== > Spectator intervene**

You retrieve a pair of obsidian knitting needles and sneak through the shadows of the allway behind the douche weilding the switch blade. You priece the the lovely needles into his back rpersistently until the man falls onto the concrete pavement. You decide to puncture the needles into his neck just to insure his death. You look up to the jade blooded women and ask, "Are you ok?" To your suprise she nods. On closer inspection you can see that the cuts on her are faily shallow, nothing you can't treat on your own. "I am here to aid to you, is that alright?" She gives you a weak smile as if to say thank you, that smile stole your heart.

Even through her tear she is able to say confidently, "I am Kanaya Maryam, it is a pleasure to make you aquintance." You are Rose La Londe and this is when you met the love of your life.

* * *

* * *

 

**== > Present Day Kanaya **

  
An excellent choice, you have become the lovely Kanaya Maryam. It seems as though your friend is having his fair share of difficulties adapting to his new living arrangements. In truth, it is nothing short of a miracle that you and your eleven friends were able to find a haven on this planet. It is shocking how this planet's inhabitants' mannerisms are dictated by which region they reside. The people who occupy this small section of the world are hospitable, but just a couple miles from the friendly, safe suburbs is the unkind crowded city. You initially landed in a place called Tukwila; to say you had a rough start when you first arrived would be the understatement of the century.

 

  
**== >** **Be Karkat**

Really? Are you sure you **_really_** want to be him? … ugh, okay since you are so **FUCKING** persistent. You are now Karkat fucking Vantas [ **ARE YOU _HAPPY_ NOW** ], and you have recently acquired the functionality of being sober… _hurray_. Your dear friend has somehow brought you back to a lucid state. Ever since you think pan was defogged, you have a fuck-ton of questions on your mind. You’re in a hive that you presume you’ve have commandeered due escaping imprisonment for some human beast shelter. 

  
You examine your companion who is sitting across from you on some type of elongated chair cover with the hide of a moo beast… you know it’s just a leather couch, but honestly how fucking uninspired is the vernacular of these simple minded humans? You find yourself perched on a comparable piece of furniture. “Kanaya why the fuck am I not fully clothed?” You look down at yourself to find that you are half naked. She tosses you a V-neck. 

Two pearly white razor-like fangs peek out from under her top lip as a motherly smile creeps across her face. She chuckles to herself, which eases your nerves. “I was just wondering that myself,” Her smile breaks apart as soon as she continues to speak, “along with a number other perplexing queries, that just cannot seem to evade my thoughts.” You cock your head to the side and try to decipher what she’s saying. In her brilliant jade eyes, you find something bordering on the line of threatening. She doesn’t bother to concealed her building merciless malevolence. The expression Kanaya is wearing is alien to you; it is nurturing as well as nerve ratting; It is as if a higher being is judging you for sins you unknowingly committed. Please stop looking at me like that; I can’t fucking stand it. You try to shake off this awful feeling and avert your attention to the shirt you have been gifted with.  

At first you don’t think much of it, but only you inspect the article of clothing it dawns on you that she made it. The shirt is the exact color of your blood. She used black thread for the seams. On a breast pocket is a familiar insignia, the sign of sufferer. You flip the shirt over to inspect the back of, you find detailed picture of a slither beast forming a circle. The serpent appears be consuming itself from its end. For a moment, your eyes find their way to Kanaya. She just encourages you to put on the shirt; you slip into the meticulously crafted clothing your and you don’t think to ask her way she had it on hand.

You will forever admire Kanaya, by that you mean all iterations of yourself be it past, present or future will agree that you (all of you) hold the utmost admiration for the rainbow drinker sitting across from you. She was, is, and will be all you could ever dream to have been, be, and become as a leader. Maryam has never been condescending to others for petty reasons such as their placement on the hemospectrum, she has always been effortlessly eloquent, forever the pinnacle of fashion, and all the while she continues to maintain her conflicting aura of menace, mirth, and majesty. You, on the other hand, are but a stark contrast to Kanaya; You, Karkat Vantas are some sort of compiled mess of all that is vile, profane, and agitated. It is a true mystery that you were able to make someone as great as Kanaya along with your other ten shitty friends follow you.

  
You happily put on the shirt. With the regal grace of someone that is to one day be head of some hierarchy Kanaya rises from the odd chair and renounces her seat; she glides across the floor flawlessly, to find a spot next to your sorry ass. She folds her hands over her lap and places all her attention on you.  
Do you recall any of the events that took place during your inebriation?” Her emerald eyes pierce into your very being, you can’t hide a damn thing from the rainbow drinker.

  
**== > Karkat confide**

“…yes, ok!?” You try to look away, somewhere else, anywhere else but at your friend. You vaguely remember harassing some weak boy.  
“Like what?” She presses you for a proper answer.  
“FUCK! I being the worthless nook licker that I am and was at the time, tormented some weak human.” You look around the room the “It wasn’t my fault ok?”  
She rests her hand on your shoulder and you watch her green eyes soften, “I never said any of this was your fault. It is just necessary for me to know what happened betwixt you and John.” The secons she said that name,  
“John…” you feel as if your stomach has just dropped, “WHERE THE FUCK IS JOHN."

"I will tell you once you tell me you can recall." Kanaya blackmails you for more information.

"I… only remember what happened today. I saw him hugging some asshat this morning... and” You take a moment to peice together the emotions you felt when you saw John this morning.

"and? Why did you hurt him."

"I'm not fucking sure, the shit stain wasn't supposed to get hurt. I just didn't want John to be hugging that jackoff." The rainbow drinker look at you with knowing smile, but your aren't sure what exactly she knows.

**Knock Knock**

"Kanaya! We are here."

 


	5. I Didn't Ask to Forgive or Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's home from his trip from the hospital, and guess who is there to greet him?  
> Sucks to be John.

**Bee** buzzzzz **the Rainbow Drinker == >**

“Kanaya, we have returned my love.” Fuck, you never thought Rose’s words were authentic when she had told you she would be arriving in a matter of seconds. You watch Karkat observing his transformation of attitude.

  
He breathes in the air; trying to find John’s scent he eyes grow hungry with want when he picks up on the cloying aroma of the boy. “John.” Like a meow beast rubbing itself against furniture, Karkat purrs out; you almost do not hear him say Egbert’s name.

 

  
  
**Be John** **== >**

Wow there, pal! It sure sucks to be you right now. Rose graciously escorts you through the house guiding you towards the living room; you know damn well what is in store for you, the unfolded fiasco is waiting for you in there.

 

  
**John Stop THIS == >**

“Rose, I am not really comfortable with this.” She gazes at you with a crooked smile slapped across her face, it is an all-knowing expression void of human emotions. It dawns on you that there is absolutely no way she will let you back down from this.  
  
“I am aware of that John. Fear is an acceptable emotion to feel at a time like this.” She chuckles at your confusion but stops when she detects that you are quaking where you stand likely plagued by fear. “Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.” She squeezes your hand and drags you to the living room. Did she actually quote someone who is blind and deaf? No offense to Helen Keller or anything, but you have to see and hear your demons. Your ears and eyes won’t let you escape reality for a second. No, you are blessed with both sight and sound. All blessings the shine brilliantly in the sunlight have a shadow, and that shadow is the curse of having to experience your tormentor's presence in every way imaginable. 

  
The moment you enter the living room your eyes lock onto your tormentors. Your heart beat’s pace quickens at the unwanted eye contact. “Rose” The second you squeal out her name you notice the demon begins to become enraged. _Why is he pissed? I didn’t do anything except for coming back home._

 

  
**Be the pissed troll == >**

  
You are now the pissed troll! **A CELEBRATION IS INORDER** , well not today. Some women named Rose is draped over your John, and the fucking meat sack is allowing it! Kanaya is already aware that you are about to flip your shit... again. You bare your fangs at the blond female with purple eyes. You are not quite sure why you are so aggressive as of late, but you know that you must separate your John from the wretch. Usually, you’d drop a couple of f-bombs and say something self-loathing shit, but you want nothing more than to decapitate this woman. The boy smells of menthol, eucalyptus, and pine trees; the scent is as intoxicating as it is calming to you. You can pick up on your human meat sack's scent, hear him wheeze out for air in panic, and see his eyes dart around the room awkwardly trying to lock their gaze on anything that happens not to be you; although, the sky-blue orbs always seem to find their way back to your face.

You growl out. “John. Come. Here.” The kid looks even more terrified, which is disheartening, to say the least. What really gets under your skin is the fact that he is seeking out comfort from another being in front of you very eyes. John clutches the blonde’s shirt and secures his sights onto the uninteresting view of the flooring.

You try to make a b-line for John, but your friend interrupts you. “Karkat, stop.” She clasps her hands around your bicep and pulls you back down to the elongated chair. “This is Rose, my matesprit.” You hear a sigh erupt from Kanaya, “Her connection with John is akin to the bonds we established with our Lucius, there is nothing to fret about.” You start to feel at ease when you hear the explanation, but it **should** **be you** who is protecting the boy. It **should be you** he’s holding onto. **IT SHOULD FUCKING BE YOU WHO MAKES JOHN FEEL SAFE.** Your fist clench in rage.

“Although I am not well acquainted with you I find it easy to say that jealousy is not becoming of you, Karkat. Anyway, Kanaya is without a doubt correct; I hold no romantic feelings toward your **roommate**. Roommate would probably equate to something along the lines of someone who shares your hive without having a need to make any type of long-term bonds.” Rose looks to Kanaya to check if her translation is acceptable. The rainbow drinker responds to Rose by giving her a curt nod paired with a wink to provide the human with a sufficient amount of reassurance. The gesture is so sickeningly sweet you could gag, while it simultaneously leaves you to wish that you and John were at that level of understanding. That word, roommate, is disgusting; John will indefinitely be more than someone you will live with and not give a fuck about. John is not your roommate, but rather he is simply yours. You want John to be anything ranging from red rom to black rom; Matesprit, moirail, auspitstice, or even kismesis John can fall into any of these categories for you at this point. He was, is, and will never be someone you just happen to live with. Actually, you may not be so fond of having an auspitstice relationship with John. You really don’t want to share your human pet with another being; you rather kill the third party in broad daylight than to go a day having to share John with some ass hat. Matter of fact, since killing isn’t that big of a deal on Alternia, you wouldn’t hesitate to do away with the other party. In your case, that other party might be someone that goes by the name of Dave. You need to cut this Dave human out of John Egbert’s life, and you mean this in the most literal way.

“Jealous, what a stupid expression! Only shit high maggots toss around that idiotic word haphazardly in conversations. Does it look like I give enough of a fuck to be jealous?” Yup, jealousy does not even scratch the surface of what your feeling, no jealousy is but kids play to you. You do not envy either of the Dave or the Rose human; you merely feel pity them or for any other unfortunate soul that should make any sort of intimate gestures towards your John. This human flesh pile belongs to you and no other; that much is apparent.

Without hesitation, everyone in the room excluding you gives the syncretic reply, “Yes.” John giggles behind the human shield known as Rose. You feel your face burns red due to something other than rage, his laughter sounds better than music to you. Thoughtlessly you rise from the elongated chair and stride toward your emotional catalyst. Rose doubtfully moves aside from John.

“…” You stand a measly 5 inches for the kid, but you feel like you’re a mile apart from him. He will not talk nor will he spare you a glance.

You point down at John and look to the Rose human, “Why won’t the child fucking talk.”

“By no means am I a mind reader, but if I had to take a stab as to **_why_** I would say he is not a fan of you.” She chuckles, at your furrowed eyebrows.

Kanaya takes this moment to plant a seed of knowledge into your mind. “John is not a child Karkat; he is 20 years of age.”

“Years?” Generally, you pride yourself on not being an ignorance shit sponge, but to your credit, you’ve been drugged for the majority of your stay on earth. “My head has been blasted with a crap load of narcotics Kanaya, so fuck me if I haven’t the faintest fucking idea what a damn year is.” It obvious to you that the rainbow drinker could not care less if you knew the Earthlings lingo or not, she is simply pleased to know that you are fully functional.

“Shhhh, shhh shhh; no one is judging you.” She retires from her spot on the couch. “John is just shy of nine and a half sweeps; nine point three five to be exact. Our sweeps are 2.14 years to humans.” She saunters toward you, John, and Rose. “So John is not far from being the same age as you, he is no more of a child to you than you are to me.” You take a moment to juggle the notion in your head. **_WAIT, IS KANAYA SAYING I AM A PETULANT CHILD DESPITE US BEING THE SAME AGE!?_**

 

  
**Karkat inspect the man-child** **== >**

Large sky blue eyes lay lock on the floor. The kid has some adorable dull front teeth poking out from his top lip, a dark mop of unruly hair crowns his head and a figure that is in the middle of being skinny and filled out. The boy has yet to grow into his limbs as you have. _**Maybe he’s a late bloomer.**_

John grows flustered under your surveillance. His pink cheeks and pouty lips beckon for your attention. _**Shit, I want to hug him, like tomorrow isn’t a fucking thing.**_ You immediately indulge your impulse to hug the kid. Once the boy is firmly tucked into you rock-like chest, you cannot help but say, “there is no way we are the same age. I just want to hide your innocent self from the rest world and keep you safe for all eternity.” _**Or keep you to myself until the end of existence and space.**_ “He looks so… helpless and hapless.” You add the last part just to throw off Kanaya; though, from what you are throwing her off of is a mystery to yourself.

“I can assure you I am, more than anyone you will ever cross, well versed with that feeling.” You watch Kanaya wrap her arm around the Rose human’s waist domineeringly, and Kanaya brings her lover into an intimate embrace. Rose gasps in surprise, and you see the female’s face is blushing furiously; The girl is red from her cheeks to the tips of her ears. You look down to the human you’ve tucked into your being without consent. _ **I wonder if I can make your face turn that color.**_

 

 

**Be John** AGAIN **!? == >**

Your demon, troll, pet, roommate, or WHATEVER is hugging you a bit too tightly.

  
“Can you maybe, not squeezes the life out of me?” To your surprise, the troll’s grip lightens up. “Uh… thank you?” You find yourself relaxing in the man’s grip and breathing in his scent… not because you want to… _**NO**_ , you are just so close that it is _**IMPOSSIBLE**_ not to. He smells of cinnamon, tobacco, and rage. You are ~~pretty sure~~ entirely confident that rage has not a fragrance labeled to its being, but if it did Karkat Vantas would be it. You can feel the troll's nose nuzzling into your hair to take in your scent. “Um… what are you doing?”

“Shhhh, just enjoy the moment.” He pats your head, and you can feel waves of stress roll off of your mind.

What kind of fucking nonsense is this troll spouting off; This **'just enjoy the moment,'** bullshit won’t fly with you. “No! Rose, this isn’t ok!” This hotter version of Harry Mandel’s monster is not going to have you wrapped around his pinky finger, just because he can talk and is 100% less forceful. “This morning,” You press your index finger into your tormentor’s chest, “he tried to molest while I was bathing.  
  
“John,” Kanaya huffs, “that is a harsh accusation. Karkat has been drugged up until this point and therefore was not lucid enough to accumulate enough knowledge to fondle you adequately… not that he is that type of person, to begin with. He likely did not have a clear understanding of your human anatomy, and thus was not aware of what he was doing to you.”

“John,” Rose gulps in astonishment, “Why is it just now that I am hearing any of this?”

“Cause, Rose, I’m just some wimp who couldn’t even defend himself from some doped up troll. It really doesn’t matter now; the damage is done, you sigh and avert your attention back to Kanaya, “So you’re just going to give him a free pass, Kanaya?” She shakes her head side to side, to supply you with a silent ‘no,’

“John,” her jade eyes meet yours, “I care for you, just as I do for Karkat, my protection for the both of you is comparable to Rose’s watchfulness of you. So, you must understand I am held in between Scylla and Charybdis.” You, of course, are Charybdis and Karkat Scylla in my eyes. “I care for both of you very much. I happen to find unjust for you not to offer Karkat a fair opportunity to prove his idyllic side to you, John.”

You can see how dead serious Kanaya is, it is without a shadow of a doubt that this is a futile effort on your part to attempt to halt this fiasco from furthering; however, you try anyway, “Rose?”

“John… I believe what Kanaya said to be true. Just look at him, John. He obviously cares for you, similarly to how Kanaya feels for me.” You gaze lands upon the beast man cradling you in his arms and breathing in your essence. “From my perspective, it a appears that he wants nothing more than to cherish you. Do you not deserve that?” You huff in disagreement; you already have Dave to spoil you with an ungodly amount of attention. “Dave is not the one to impose such attentiveness upon you. John, you need something platonic and intimate awhile you are being nurtured” Is she reading my mind or am I just paranoid, it’s probably the latter?

Karkat whispers, “I am sorry.” Your eyes begin to water. After all, he has done to you, he apologizes with three simple words. He had fondled your body ruthlessly, smashed your head into the flooring of your house’s entry way, and pushed you into asphalt; for some reason, you want to accept the request for forgiveness with open arms, but you cannot bring yourself to undertake the apology. Instead, you curl further into the troll’s chest to hide your tears from Rose and Kanaya. You reluctantly begin to tolerate the fact that Karkat is here to stay. You want to be mad or at least have some sort of fire in you to drive you to fight him off. He shooshes you a few more times, and you begin to want to reciprocate the embrace; You aren't entirely sure why you were angry in the first place. You lean into the man's hold.You make an effort to envelop him with your arms as he is to you.  
  
“Fine.” Your voice is muffled due to the close contact you and your troll have created with this restricting embarrass. “This isn’t some kind of romantic thing like what you have with Kanaya. Dave is still like… whatever a matesprit is, at least for the time being.” Karkat’s grip tightens, you can hear him try to prevent a growl for exiting his mouth.

“Whatever.” Both Rose and Kanaya answer you as if your words have little to no meaning in them.

 

  
**Karkat bring sexy back, cause them other boys don’t know how to act** **== >**

Your lips graze the shell of John’s ear, “I am going to be your matesprit and everything else you could ever dream of, you will want for fucking nothing." You feel the body you are clinging to quivers at your words. You pull away for the flesh bag to see a crimson red blush across his face **. _That is too fucking cute for me to ignore_**. It is becoming increasingly difficult for you to restrain yourself from ravishing the kid right here. Your hands seem to have a mind of their own as the sliver under John’s t-shirt to feel up the hidden skin. The boy moans under your touch; you find it strange and alluring that the kid is so profoundly affected by something as innocent as skin contact. You note that he is not trying to escape your grasp or swat away your hands. "Good boy." Your lips ghost across his neck as you praise him.

  
“Unfortunately, I cannot say I have been caught off guard by this abrupt display of affection that appears to have come out of the blue. It has been made blindingly apparent to me that there is an orgy of evidence that shows that you and Karkat will get along swimmingly.” She watches you nuzzle your nose into the crook of John’s neck. “So with that being said, I am afraid I will have to excuse myself; after all, I am not a fan of being a voyeur.” She turns to Kanaya with a smirk smudged across her face, “I trust that you will be following suit, my love?”

  
“Indubitably, my flower.” You watch with glee as the two females take their leave. Once they are gone, you stop scoping out what lies under John’s shirt. “John… you there?” You try to get a response, but the kid seems to be in a daze not that this doesn’t please you or anything, it’s just that you rather not intrude on the kid’s boundaries any more than you have already. “Hey, Earth to fucking space case?”

 

 

**John DO SOMETHING! ANYTHING! == >**

  
His voice is intoxicating; you feel slightly drunk off his lingering words. You can feel yourself slipping from reality. “Ummm… sorry I was sort of daydreaming. What were you saying?” It takes a while for you to sober up and come back to reality. **Why am I holding onto this bastard?**

  
You try to put some distance between the two of you, but your endeavor is pointless, and you knew it was from the start. “Ah, ah, ah where the fuck do you think you are going my sweet flesh pile?”

“I just kind of needed some space. You almost raped me and maimed me on two different accounts in the span of a week. I know I am supposed to put that in the past, but it’s sort of difficult when my injuries have yet to heal. _” By_ that, _I mean mentally as well as physically._

“Show me them?” You cock your head to the side and decide to comply with Karkat’s demand. You present your two sewn up arms to the disgruntled troll.

“happy?”

  
“Of course not, what kind of partner does this to his mate?”

“You’re not my part-” Karkat begins to lick your forearm in long stripes across the freshly assembled stitches, “ngghhh.” You groan at the unusual sensation; it isn’t unpleasant it’s just unexpected. Once he finishes lapping up your wounds, your mind is in a fog yet again.

  
“What were you saying?” This ass hate knows very well what you were about to say, but you on the other hand forgot… **DAMMIT!**

“I-I forgot.” You try to remember, you try to put your train of thought back on its tracks, but it’s far too late for that now. “Whatever… it must not have been that important.” You sigh, and then realize that the day has passed away into the night. “Wanna watch a movie?” It'll be nice to have someone around to watch films with you until you pass out, just like you used to when you dad was alive.

“Got any rom-com movies?” You nod, you and your father collected every genre of film that existed. “Is 50 First Dates alright?” Karkat’s eyes light up as if it were Christmas.

“Is 50 First Dates alright?” Karkat’s eyes light up as if it were Christmas; for a fraction of a second, you find Karkat to be somewhat charming with his eery amber/blood red eyes twinkling with glee.  

  
“Sounds good to me.” You scuffle over to the TV stand to eject the last film you watched with your father, Con Aire. You fight off the tears that threaten to spill as you insert the romantic comedy into the blue-ray player. You find a vacant spot on the couch to sit, but Karkat ends up pulling you into his lap. Dave has never been this needy for contact, so snuggling isn’t something he did excessively. Karkat, on the other hand, seems to need it as much as possible, which you honestly don’t mind; your father used to hold you tight in his arms when the two you viewed movies in the wee hours. Actually, you felt somewhat comforted by Karkat’s hold; it plagues you with pleasant nostalgia.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for spelling mistakes, this is what happens when you write while you're tipsy.


	6. I Didn't Ask for a Pancake Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try to keep the story light-hearted for awhile before shit hits the ceiling fan. Also, this probably has a butt-ton of mistakes, so I'll likely edit it later. Anyways, enjoy ... if you can

**Wakey, Wakey Egbert minus the bacy** ==>

Your eyes are punished by the sun, it so brutally douses the fiery awesomeness that can only be your dreams with its blinding light. You feel something wrapped tightly around you... arms. The arms that envelop you provide the dual service of keeping you from falling off the couch and eliminating any thoughts of loneliness. Buried in your disheveled hair is Karkat’s nose, oddly enough you feel safe. The chipper tune of 50-first-dates' menu plays in a loop, filling the living room with the sounds of steel drums accompanied by a xylophone and electric guitar.

 

 **John Panic** ==>

Shit, I left the TV on, that’s going to be one hell of a bill.

 **Are you stupid!? Money is not an issue.** The La Londe and Strider families cover all your living expenses. However, this nicety was not to your accord. Dave wanted you to quit your job at GameStop since working took up the majority your time that could have been spent on him. You still have your job though; it’s the only thing other than going to college that makes you feel normal. Dirk kind of freaks you out, with a more than reasonable inkling you are confident that he has tapped your cell phone. Your run-ins with Dirk are not few and far between; it is alarming, to say the least. Dirk being the disturbing benevolent being that he is, had installed a surveillance system in your front yard, from deductive reasoning you have a sneaking suspicion that he also planted cameras in every room of your house. Rose and Kanaya thought you had become a mess, so the two of them took the insinuative to purchase and select your wardrobe; Rose made sure your hair never grew too long. Habitually Roxy would come over to eat dinner with you and have a glass of wine… or five. It’s likely Roxy only visits because you’re her ideal drinking companion.

 

**GET UP ==>**

Reluctantly you try to sneak out of Karkat’s hold without waking him. No luck The troll's grasp is similar to that of a boa constrictor … the more you fight it, the tighter it will coil around you. You whimper in defeat.

“Go back to sleep,” Karkat growls out, sound fully awake and alert.

“You're awake?” You think to yourself, How the fuck is the dude awake already.

“What a dumb question, here let me indulge your stupidity by asking something equally moronic. Am I talking to you, John?”

“Yes?”

“There’s your fucking answer. Go back to sleep.” 

Karkat pushes your head back down to his chest. The rhyme of his heartbeat is so calming that you consider falling back to see. 

“I'm not tired and how long.”

 

**Karkat Answer ==>**

_Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. He’s on to me._

“Not long.” That response is utter bullshit. You have been conscious for over five hours cradling the human flesh pile in your arms. You love hearing the kid’s weak breathes sing out in his slumber, the rhythm of his heartbeat, and occasional groan that slips past his lips; it’s a comfort you have never known of or wanted so badly until now. You relinquish your hold on your John. The kid gets up to shut off the television and retrieves the disc from the video player only to place it back in its rightful spot.

 

Large blue eyes meet yours, “Want some pancakes for breakfast?”

“Sure,” the word pancake is a foreign term to you, but the idea of John making food for you is enough to slaughter any questions you have. Mindlessly you hover around John in the kitchen, studying everything he does. The young burette recovers a box with white powdery matter inside, he collects eggs, and water. He dumps all the gathered item into a bowl. You watch with wide eyes as he stirs all the ingredients until they form some gooey substance.

“You don’t have to be right over my shoulder all the time.” John huffs out the words in frustration which is irrefutably adorable.

“I’m just observing.” It’s plan to see your words are puzzling to John. “I don’t cook… nor have I gotten the chance to eat a pancake.” The boy hums in response.

“Wow, that sucks. My dad used to cook a butt load of confectionaries. I guess pancakes don't qualify as sweets though.”

“Yeah, well whatever the fuck you just said was wasted on me.” John just giggles and resumes baking the cakes of the pan. The gooey substance forms into circles once it hit the hot surface John is using to prepare them with, John adds something blue to the food.

 

**Be the human meet pile == >**

Having a handsome, muscular, guy standing over you while you cook doesn’t sound too bad on the surface, but it’s incredibly distracting when you're cooking something. Your troll roommate stands at about 6’2 while you are on the short side at the height of 5’7. Anyone watching the two of you would probably get a good laugh, Karkat has to bend over to get a good look at what you’re doing. You can feel his breath ghost across your ear; your face is flushed red from your cheeks to the tips of your ears. “What are those blue things?” You suppose his home planet likely had different fruits, so it isn’t that weird he doesn’t know what a blueberry is.

 

**John deploy prankster’s gambit == >**

“You can’t tell?” Karkat shakes his head no. “Doesn’t the color look familiar to you?” Karkat shakes his head up and down for yes. Deadpan you say with a flat voice, “They are eyes.” You pick up on of the blueberries that you have yet to use for breakfast and pop in your mouth. “They’re really squishy, so it gives the pancakes a nice texture.

“You’ve got to be shitting me. You eat eyes?” You almost laugh at the fact that concern is dripping from the troll's voice; he scrunches up in disgust.

“Yes! You know the human kind?” Karkat blanches at your enthusiasm for the tasty gouged out eyeballs. “Are you telling me you don’t? There delicious! Here try one.” Without warning you deposit the blue fruit into the troll’s mouth, he gags. “What the fuck did you just do!?” You didn’t think he would actually believe you, but hey the best pranks can pull the wool over the anyone’s eyes.

“Pffft, calm down.” You flip over the pancake, “I was just messing with you. No harm no foul, right?” Your index finger taps at the stitched holding together the skin of your forearm, to show that you have indeed been harmed and you’ll hold that over his head up until you healed. “hehe, it was just a blueberry; wait, that probably doesn’t me much to you huh. You had fruit on your planet, right?” The troll nods in agreement. “Well, that’s what that was. If you hated it enough to gag I guess you won’t want any in your pancakes.” Due to your marvelous mischief, the troll scowls at your direction.

Karkat crosses his arms around you and grumps out, “I didn’t say that.”

 

**Be the grumpy grouch ==>**

You’re not grumpy, well… not any more than usual. John is like one of those dumbass MiRaClEs that Gamzee won’t stop blubbering on about; normally you would be about ready to throttle someone for teasing you like this, but you’re not. John is beaming with a shit-eating smile on his face, but you still find it annoyingly adorable. There is just a tornado of emotion wreaking havoc on your think pan.

1.) Joy- John is happy with you being around him

2.) Traumatized- for consuming what was considered to be an eye and enjoying it

3.) Anger- that’s nothing new it just a base emotion to feel on a daily basis

4.) Confusion- you are confused at why you're confused.

You obtained ALL the confusion, ALL OF IT. Congrats, you have gathered a bountiful bunch of bewilderment!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are awarded the badge of disorientation. (It’s an award with no benefits but, it comes with more drawbacks than your tiny minds can comprehend.

 

Inisate conversation Karkat ==>

“So… you want blueberries?” WAY TO FUCK UP MAN, LOOKS LIKE JOHN'S TAKING THE REINS OF THIS RAMPID INTERACTION! FUCK YOU SELVES LITERALLY GO HOP ON ON A THROB STALK!

Smugness is John, and it delights you to see him acting so comfortable around you. The other human would have sedated you by now, for your lack of compliance. “YES JOHN, I WANT THE FUCKING BLUEBERRIES!” It’s shocking how John doesn’t even bat an eye when you get upset which happens to be all the time. The kid just wear his unabashed smile and continue to cook breakfast

“Yesh, I was making sure. I’m done.” All of the gooey liquid has been heated to the point where it as formed puff discs speckled with blue dots. “One for you and one for me. I trust you can serve yourself.” John pushes a plate into your hands. He swipes three of pancakes from the stack, and you follow suit. You pursue the young brunette to a table and claim a spot next to him. He drowns his food in a brown substance. John notices you staring at him. “This is syrup; you use it to make the pancakes taste better. Wants some?”

“Give it here.” You extend an arm out a pour the liquid onto your plate and watch the brown substance pool on the plate.

 

 

**JOHN WATCH == > **

Your roommate hesitantly nibs the pancake, something shimmers in his eyes, and then he begins to scarf down the rest of it. You finish your breakfast too, albeit not nearly as fast as Karkat did. You take both of your empty plates to the sink. Karkat slings his arms around your waist and rests his head on your shoulder. “Whaaaaaaat is it now?” You whine out the words half-heartedly. Although you’ll never admit it, you enjoy being wrapped up in your roommate’s arms. The contact reminds you that you aren’t alone.

“Nothing, just a thank you hug?” You ease into the embrace as you scrub the dishes.

“Your welcome! You can get off now.”

“I think I'll pass.”

 

**inhabit the ironic intellectual == >**

You are now Dave Strider, and you're mildly irritated. You have just entered John’s house unannounced and what do you find!? You see your love's waist wrapped in a pair of gray lanky well-defined arms, and a head resting on his shoulder. “John,” you try to collect yourself, so it doesn’t sound like your yelling, “why is the Duke of douches clinging to like a fucking spider monkey?” The first thing that comes to your mind is to cause some significant damage and discord to the dipshit that’s practically groping your boyfriend, but that wouldn’t be cool. On a side note, Egderp is a pacifist, so you don’t want to ruffle his goddamn feathers. The troll looks all too comfy coiled around John. Terezi and Sollux reside at your house, they became your friends sure enough, but they never tried to overstep your boundaries. Terezi occasionally licked you, but she did that with just about everyone… excluding Eridan, which you can’t blame her for.

“Well… he’s just kind of huggie I guess. I really don’t mind all that much.” Karkat raises his head off of John’s shoulder a throws a smug smirk your way.

“Aren’t you afraid of him?” Your heart feels as though someone doused it in gasoline and threw a lit match at it.

Before John has the chance to respond to your question, the asshat clinging to his covers Egderp’s mouth. “Hey! Nook whiffer, shut your ignorance tunnel for a second. Whatever past me did, was not to present me's accord; matter of fact my think pan has been defogged for less than a day."

You feign interest in whatever the troll is rambling on about, “Yeah?”

“YES!” The bastard grips John tighter, and you can feel your hands ball into fists.

“Well, that's awfull cause... I **don’t** give a flying **fuck**.” You try to dislodge John for the trolls hold, your attempt is fruitless.

“Dave,” John apparently managed to dislocate Karkat’s hand from his mouth, “he’s kind of growing on me. It feels my dad never pass away.”

“He’s growing on you like how black mold grows on a basement wall; it’s not healthy. One day you’ll just be sitting there saying ‘oh shit, when’d that happen’?”

“HA! That is so fucking hilarious if anyone is some sort of fungi to John it would be you. The only reason the two of you are is a flushed relationship, is because John is so fucking impressionable.” What the fuck is a flushed relationship?

 

**John get mad == > **

If there is one damn thing in this world that you are not, it is impressionable. “I am not.” That is right assert your wariness to the unwarranted title of the sheepishly suggestible. “Yes, you are.” Both of Karkat and Dave reply in unison to your statement.

 

**John Concede == > **

“Yeah, maybe I am.” **YOU FUCKING SHEEP! WHY WOULD YOU JUST PROVIDE YOURSELF WRONG YOU DUMBASS!**

Dave palms his face in frustration, “Dammit Egderp.” Dave frowns in defeat. You are very suggestible just like your cousin (grandson/grandfather?) Jake, who had succumbed to the pressures of being pursued by Dave’s brother, Dirk.

“Did I push you into this?” You feel a twinge of guilt for not admitting your true feelings to Dave beforehand, but you selfishly didn’t want to lose your best friend you obliged Dave’s romantic advances. It is dead silent between the three of you, not even the sound of the running water fills your noiselessness surroundings.

“John do you really want to have some sort of partnership with this shit stain?”

“I just wanted to make you happy Dave.” You kick at the ground while you try to piece together your next sentence of elaboration. “After my dad died, you made my monotonous lifeless not-so-empty. I thought you disappear if I didn’t return your feelings.” You find yourself shaking uncontrollably in Karkat’s hold; he’s probably the only thing keeping you from plummeting to the ground.

Dave’s face goes lax, an expression you can’t decipher sits on his face. “Maybe we should break up.”

“No.” To your embracement, you whimper out that one word with enough desperation to make the entire world feel a bit of pity for your sorry ass.

You can see a ghost of a smile tug on the corner of Dave’s lips. “Shut up, dude. We’re still going to hang out and watch your god-awful movies; maybe even more now that this douche is living with you.” He scratches the back of his neck, “In a year, no, in a month or less you’ll probably be chasing my sweet ass all the way to the end of **time**. So, I can wait. You’ll be pulling out all the stops like a goddamn school bus to hit on me with some golden pick up lines. You be like 'Is your father a baker? Cause you got some sweet buns! Or, I think it's time I tell you what people are saying behind your back... Nice ass!”

You start laughing, but you hate yourself for it. All of this pick-up lines are awful, in the best way. “Dave stop the first one was bad enough.”

“Nope I’ve got a fucking mountain of this sweet babies; you’ll be like 'Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?” Dave’s jokes come to a halt when he peers down at his i-watch. He sighs and averts his attention back to you. “Looks like Terezi and Sollux are fighting… or fucking? It’s hard to tell… hard get it?”

 

**Karkat STOP THIS SHIT SHOW == > **

“Gogdammit! I’ve had enough of these shitty one-liners, and that last one was absolute garbage.”

Dave interjects before Karkat can continue his rant. “The last one was a pun, and what you said is a filthy lie. Your mouth so fucking disgusting it’s a dental anomaly.”

“Whatever, by-the-by Terezi a Sollux are definitely not fucking. So, word to the wise you better kick your sugar-coated ass into high gear so you might have something salvage what little remains of your hive.”

Dave huffs, “Nah, I’ll take my time.” Dave leisurely strolls to the remaining pancake John made and swipes them. “I’ll also be taking these with me.”

“No!” You wanted to eats those later, but this bastard had to ruin that for you.

“Ohhhhh KarKitty,” You Dave flinch when you hear him moan out erotically out, with a pancake hanging from his mouth, the nickname Nepeta gave ages ago, “soooo goooood.” He sounds like a fucking porn star, the kind that has been in the business for a while and has been racking up the trophies for their phenomenal acting in the smut industry. Dave throws back his head and groans out, “Delicious,” as if he were about to fill a pale. This jackass is really testing you. Dave stands a 5’11 and isn’t nearly as built like you; needless to say you could make him black out with just one punch right now.

Your John has started laughing, “Hehe, weirdest breakfast ever.” You’re practically fuming. Your eyes are locked on Dave you’re the one who should be making John smile and laugh. A pleasant thought comes to you think pan, you imagine ripping open Dave’s throat and reclaiming the pancake your human cooked for you; it would be so easy to execute, but John would likely be terrified of you once more. You really shouldn’t care what John thinks of you. You could overpower him with ease and do whatever your heart pleases. John belongs to you, and no one should get to enjoy him other than you. Your human fixes his gaze on you. “Calm down I can always make more. I can even show you how to make them later.” He places his hand on your arm for reassurance, and the gesture puts you at ease. “Dave… as funny as that is, it’s kind of gross. You don’t even like pancakes.” John looks at the tiles of the kitchen floor and sees that crumbs are scattered about the area where Dave stands.

Dave winks at John, “I love whatever you make.” The blonde human sighs, “Anyway I should get going. I wouldn’t want to come home to two dead roommates, would I?” He takes his leave just before he vanishes behind the front door he sends his farewells, “I’ll be back later, John. Byeeee KarKitty, KK, or KarKrap.”

“Bye insufferable prick!” You hear the door shut and sigh in relief finally he has left the house.


	7. I Didn't Ask for Songs

This isn't a chapter sorry

:P

just some character [songs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTlWbO7v5Ys&t=5s) base off my perception. So yup!

 

you can click the word "songs" duh or use this -----> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTlWbO7v5Ys&t=5s

 

 

 


	8. I Didn't Ask for you to LoVe me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the shitty spelling errors I'll probably fix them later
> 
> This is a super short chapter.  
> Some triggers... no tigers, unfortunately, still I'm waiting for that day.

[Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLd8da7TRxk) (click [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLd8da7TRxk) or use the url... you know the drill, but the drill doesn't know you!) = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLd8da7TRxk

Great song for this chapter... probably don't listen to it and read this at the same time (if you can that's awesome though)

 

* * *

 

**In the future... not too far in the future (We're talking like maybe five weeks or more future but not like 3 mouths future) ==?==== >**

It is late at night; the sky is void of color, and the earth has been shrouded in shadows. The sun has been banned from shining across the land leaving the moon to reign over all that is left in the darkness. Every house in Cedar Grove is occupied with sleeping soul tucked away in their sweet dream, every home except for one. There is but one window of the Egbert house that emits a blue light, it illuminates a portion of the traditional two story; this is a usual occurrence. Despite how late it is a troll, and two human boys sit sprawled out on a couch viewing god-awful romance movies one after the other. The troll sits on the far end of the couch utterly immersed in the shitty story while the burette is perched in the middle tucked in the arms of his best friend who has been getting a bit handsy. The troll and the burette watched the films with wide eyes while the blonde male only viewed the trashy romance films for ironic purposes and to spend time with his Eg-bro. The blonde’s hands slip under the burette’s shirt, mapping out the hidden skin.

“Dave stop,” the blonde is wearing glass so no one can see him roll his eyes at the troll's demand. The blonde sporting shades hands wander further south on his friend’s body. “IF YOU DON’T FUCKING STOP I’LL MAKE YOU.” 

The blonde male snickers at the frustrated troll. "I'd love to see you try." The blonde's hands continue to wander the burette's body despite hearing his friend whimper in protest; His hands creep under the burette’s waste band. “You're jealous, I would be too but, just look at how cute he is. There's no way I can stop now.” The blonde flaunts off the mewling boy in his grasp. “John likes it,” He looks down at the blue-eyed boy, “don’t you?” Dave’s free hand shuffles through John’s rave hair as his other stroke John’s growing member, “I am sure Karkat, oh sorry, Karcrap would love to get in on this... but your mine Egbert, and I don't share.” John looks mortified as he spares a glance at the troll. Karkat’s eyes are glued onto the burette, who’s face is now flushed red with embarrassment. Karkat's eyes burn into every fiber of John's being as if they are trying to tell the blue-eyed-boy that he is about two seconds away from ripping Strider into shreds.

“Dave, please stop… I-I need to go to the bathroom.” Dave immediately releases John and follows the blue-eyed-boy off the couch. “No Dave, I want to go by myself.”

“Just thought I could help ya fix the situation down south.” The blonde winks at John from behind his shades and pats his ass. Karkat growls barring his fangs at Dave. “I wouldn’t want to leave you all hot and bothered. I also would want to be left with this demon.”

“Shut up Dave.” John saunters off leaving the two in his wake.  
  
\----------------------------------------BaTh-RoOm-BrEaK-StArT-------------------------------------------------------------

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\----------------------------------------BaTh-RoOm-BrEaK-EnD-----------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

Young burette with bright blue eyes stands paralyzes watching the blood of his best friend pool on his living room floor. “What… d-did you do?” The burette is bewildered by the scene.  
His nearest and dearest friend lays inanimate on the floor with a gash in his neck spouting out an appalling amount of blood. “Karkat? WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!?” The burette calls out the name of his roommate who is looming over the remains of what used to be Dave Strider. The crimson liquid trickles from Karkat’s nails and drips onto the floor, the troll stands in triumph as he grins at the lifeless body below.

“You know **what** I did, and you know **why** I fucking did it.” The troll closes the distance between him and the witness, “I did it for **you** , John.” With a bloodied hand the large troll cups the humans face. “This bastard was practically begging for death,” a dark chuckle lingers on the last word before he continues his thought, “when he touched my favorite meat bag.”

John runs over to his friend’s body and puts pressure on the wound, hoping to slow down the bleeding. It is far too late to save Strider though; his pulse has stopped, and his chest has ceased to rise and fall. “Dave… please wake up. Please, please, please wake up. Wake up, wake up, wake up please don’t leave me.” The blue-eyed boy utters this phrase over and over again as if the next time he repeats the mantra, Dave with be resurrected. John removes Dave’s glasses to see his lifeless eyes void of the vibrant red they used to be.

“Shhhh,” Karkat cards his hand through the knotted mess of hair crowning John’s head. “He is gone, it’s pointless to be wallowing over some shit stain of a friend.”

“I loved him.” Karkat’s eyebrows knit together in frustration at these three words. Love is just another stupid word humans throw around haphazardly. It doesn’t mean a goddamn thing, but nevertheless, Karkat wants nothing more to hear the word of vague affection used on him.

“ **No.** ” The troll clenches his fist allowing his claw-like-nails to bite into the skin of his palm. “ **You. Didn’t. And. You. Will. Never.** ” John cannot hear a word coming from Karkat at this point. Only the thoughts of his subconscious speak to him, by repeatedly confirming that his beloved friend is indeed dead. “ **LOOK at me! I’m am all that you will need,** ” The blue-eyed-boy just continues his sniveling as he watches his tears plummet into his friend’s corpse. “ **AM I FUCKING CLEAR?** ”

The human cowers at the sound of Karkat's booming voice. John is inching closer and closer to the lifeless body as if Dave’s corpse could shield him from the troll's rapacious rage. John whimpers and digs his face into the crook of the unresponsive body’s neck whispering, “please come back to me.” The troll is stunned as well as enraged to know that none of his words have seemed to reach his lovable flesh pile of a human. Karkat is filled with envy for how Dave has managed to steal John’s attention even in death. “This is my fault, isn’t it?” The troll cannot understand who John is questioning, himself, Karkat, his god, or Dave.

In the spur of the moment, Karkat takes this issue as an incentive to answer, “Yes.” He purrs out the word. “Of course it’s _**your**_ fault, he would still be alive hadn’t it been for _ **you**_.”

  
“I’m so sorry Dave.” John's sniffs and sobs are a delicious symphony of sounds to Karkat but, those heart-wrenching sounds are not meant for him.

“ **Lay your FUCKING apologies to rest Egbert! Does it look like he can hear you? No? Well, that’s weird. Maybe it's on the account of him being um I don’t know… DEAD! And who’s fault is that you ask?** ”

  
“…Mine.”

  
“ **Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!** ”

  
“I j-just… didn’t want to be alone.” John’s grip on his friend increases.

  
“What a selfish thing to say.” Karkat clasps his hand around John’s shoulder, “Am I not **FUCKING** here for _**YOU**_? Wasn’t your father, the only one you needed before you got bombarded with all the worthless scum you call _friends._ ” The troll’s crimson eyes glimmer with want as he sees the boy shutter under his hand. A clawed index finger finds its way under John’s chin and forces him to face Karkat. “ **Answer me**.”

“y-yes.” John’s eyes have turned pink, and they continue to brim with tears. Karkat caresses the burette’s head in appreciation.

  
“I am **all** you need, and I will be **all** you ever need. **No one else**.” The troll points to the body, “ ** _This_** is what happens when you get selfish John. He didn’t have to die, neither does Rose, Jade, Jake, or any of the others. All you have to do is keep the fuck away from them.” The troll presses his lips to John's forehead, all the while maintaining his vice-like grip on the human's shoulder. The troll's lips stretch into an unnatural smile, “Okay?” The troll's words are but a half-hearted threat; yes, he wants John for himself, but Karkat had never killed another being before this day. The only reason Dave died was solely due to him fueling the fire of Karkat's rage, had Strider not been egging the troll on he would still be breathing. Dave just had to taunt Karkat in John's absence.

  
John just nods as he tries to cough out his sobs. “Good.” Karkat hums, “I love you, John.” The sickeningly sweet sound of the troll's voice crooning out affectionate words paired with the scent of Strider's blood is enough to make John vomit but, he can't. Karkat’s nails dig into the human’s shoulder slipping through the layers of integument just how a would knife through butter.  
“I-I l-love… y-you too, Ka-Karkat.” Karkat retracts his claws from John's skin and wraps the human in his arms with ungodly speed, love is a stupid word, and yet it’s all he wanted to hear to human say.

 


	9. I Didn’t Ask for Seven Years of Bad Luck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here yet another chapter of my shitty story, try to enjoy <3  
> Please forgive the spelling mistakes

Here is the [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzwicesJQ7E) for the chapter enjoy

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzwicesJQ7E>

* * *

 

 

 **John stop** === >

Stop? What a strange idea, nothing ever comes to a stop, not really at least. The sands of time never cease to fall, the world’s rotations certainly does not come to a halt, and the fabric space shalt falters with the passing of eternity; So why should one stop indulging in their dark pleasures? Stop? What a joke, the boy, known as Egbert is unresponsive to your commands at the moment. All you can do is sit back and watch John self-destruction, with that being said enjoy the show.

 

After Dave, had passed away, something snapped in John’s head. Maybe some screws came loose. It could be that he lost some of his precious marbles, those lovely spherical bastards are as good as gone. Whatever the case is, basket or not, it stands to reason that John is mentally seeking refuge from reality out of his mind. The boy has lost the remaining pieces of sanity he held, and a slice of his humanity.

 

Egbert is encapsulated by four walls that have been slathered in a paint titled kinetic blue. Two of the walls standing parallel to each other are adorned with family photos, a bitter-sweet reminder to the Egbert boy of his deceased father. John stands on the black-and-white diamond tiling of his bathroom staring into a mirror mounted above a porcelain sink. A single window draped in sheer fabric bathes the room in a dull light. The boy stands shrouded in shadows as he peers into the world beyond the mirror's cold reflective surface. With his left hand, he grips the sink’s edge, and with his right, he clutches his father’s switch blade. The surgical steel slivers up his arm and leaves a trail of red in its wake, the blood that trickles from the boy’s arm plummets onto the pearly white sink. The second the crimson droplets are leaking out from John’s arm is they second they spatter into the once pure white sink to form numerous tiny red stars. To any uninformed spectator, it would appear that the boy with eyes as blue as the sky is alone, but that assumption is a frightening combination of both fact and fiction. In truth one is only alone if they convince themselves that they are; A child, for instance, creates an imaginary friend to quench their thirst for companionship thus ending their lonesomeness. Currently, John wishes nothing more than to believe that he is alone.

  
“As much as I like the feeling of this, you really should stop.” The blue-eyed-boy averts his attention from the newly made incision to take notice of his reflection’s advice. His mirror image strokes the sliced skin lovingly, adoring the searing pain that pulses through the tattered flesh.

 

Egbert has tried to ignore his mirror self on many accounts, but lately, his attempts to leave his delusions off of his notice have become futile. The reflection’s voice has gotten louder, to point where the blue-eyed-boy can no longer shut it out of his conscious. John sighs as he stares daggers at his bathroom mirror, “Why?”

 

“This is pointless. You won’t go through with it, no matter how much the both of us want this; yet you still harm us, or yourself rather. What sense does that make?” The young brunette continues to strip ribbons of flesh off of his forearms with his father’s gun metal black switchblade. Gracefully the serrated edge glides through the layers of integument with smooth strokes; crimson liquid spills out from the splitting skin.

 

John huffs at his mirror image, “Shut. Up.” The boy is at a loss for words; his focus only lays on the creation of sweet suffering. The sensation of burning skin dripping with blood numbs John’s mind. The is feeling comparable to what one might experience after drowning themselves in liquor. John’s body feels as though it has been stuff with cotton, his skin is warm to the touch, and his mind has fallen into the comforts of a hazy delirium. Due to pleasant experiences much like this, John’s cutting has become habitual. 

 

“No,” the mirror retorts, “You can hear them, can’t you?” The reflection tilts its head as if they are curious as to what the answer is, but it is plain to see they already are aware of the correct response to their inquiry. “I’m not the only voice your hearing, am I?” 

 

The brunette spastically shakes his head from side to side silently in an attempt to deny his inner conscious the truth. Many thoughts that John rather not claim to be his fly through his mind, these undesired notions are but fuel to the fire of John’s self-mutating habit.

 

The voices in John’s head sing out their sorrowful songs and plead for the solace they can only receive in death.  “Slip the blade across your wrist John, and then all this will just be some hellish nightmare. I beg of you, please, please end this I don’t want to wake up to see the light of a new day. It doesn’t have to be painful! You can just swallow the contents in that bottle; your dad surely won’t be missing his symbyax. Just end this and if you can do that this will all be a thing of the past. Take a nap in the garage with your car running, and hopefully, we won’t wake up. Please John **END THIS**!  Every second spent breathing on this god forsaken planet is to live an eternity in madness. John, why do you let us suffer? John, I want nothing more than to meet the loving hands of death. Why won’t you take this pain away? 

 

The blue-eyed-boy retracts his left hand’s grasp on the sink. The freed hand finds a place on John’s scalp to claw at. John's nails dig mercilessly at the skin coating his skull as if this is the only way to remove the voices from his head. The second the skin crowning his skull breaks is the second he steals himself from attempting to pry apart his head. “SHUT UP!” With complete disregard to the blade clutched in his palm he relinquishes his hold on the knife and drops his father’s blade onto the black-and-white tiles; his hands ball into fists. Egbert's knuckles slam into the mirror with all the force he can muster. After throwing about five punches, he successfully shatters the mirror. The reflective fragments litter the monochromatic tiles and have chewed up John's hands allowing blood to flood out from John’s knuckles. 

 

Everything goes silent in the derange boy’s head until a familiar honeyed voice taints the serenity of the muted moment. “Shattering a mirror huh? That’s about seven years of bad luck.” The brunette peers down at the floor; his eyes are plastered to the horrific sight bellow. Millions of shards scattered about the floor gaze up at with a Cheshire grin slapped across their faces.

John clasps his bloodied hand over his ear to prevent the sounds of his reflections from seeping into his ears. “Shut up.”

 

“Have you got nothing more to say?”

  
John shouts out, “Why won’t leave me alone?”

 

The mirror images of John all snicker at their compilation’s confusion. “Hate to break it to you, but were the same person dumbass.” A chorus of mirror fragments echoes the last word. The thunderous sound of hundreds of shards calling out ‘dumbass’ roars in John’s ears. Like a broken record Egbert chants under his breath, the words _make it stop over and over again_.

 

A chipper version of John calls out from the glittering glass, “We just want for you to end this, John.” Their exuberant smile is paired with a steadfast tone, “With just a pinch of pressure slide that black blade over your throat,” The cheerful mirror image of John slides his index finger slowly across his jugular; to play the role of being dead the reflection’s tongue falls out from his mouth, once the finger travels to the other side of his neck. “and then TADA we’ve reached the end.” Each fragment of mirror dissolves into laughter the giggles bubble up like the fizz in a shaken soda bottle. The blue-eyed-boy spastically shakes his head in response. The sound of the snickering shards flattens. The rest of the mirror fragment’s utters die down; the afflicting clamor of hushed voices dissolves into an unsettling stillness. One of the shards looks slightly disturbed before they decide to destroy the short-lived silence by chiming in, “Can you hear that?” 

 

In the distance, the dull rhyme of feet meeting with the carpeted steps of the stairway can be heard. The beating sound of the footsteps synchronizes with the throb of John’s heart.

 

Thump

  
Thump

  
Thump

  
Thump

 

With every passing moment, the thud of the steps becomes stronger; the reverberation is like a siren to John it warns him of an upcoming storm. The young brunette knows who is coming, but he chooses to ignore the warning bells screaming for him to turn tail and run away from his home. 

 

The footsteps cease once they find their way in front of the bathroom.

One of the shards pipes out. “Knock, knock.” John’s eyes dart from the door down to the broken mirror on the floor. The fear in coursing through his veins has seemed to have revived the vigor of his reflections’ chatty disposition. Another chipped mirror piece responds. “Who is it?” Five or more fragments answer the supposedly comedic question with the name, “Karkat.” To which a handful more inquires, “Karkat who?” Finally, a chorus of broken mirror bits sings out, “Karkat fucking Vantas, you useless shit stain.” John is no comedian, but even to him, this is a piss poor excuse of a joke. At the moment, this childish knock, knock joke is nothing more than the unsettling reminder of what’s to come for Egbert.

* * *

 

  
Knock

  
Knock

  
Knock

 

Coiled ashen finger rap upon the wooden door panel nearest to a silver door knob. The light taps against the door are met by silence from the being on the other side. “Jooohhhnnn,” the ash pigmented being is crooning out for his human, “please open the door.” Once more the troll is ignored by his adorable flesh sack. Karkat’s heart drops at the thought of being ignored by is love. If being ignored isn’t bad enough the human has remained mute ever since Strider was culled. Every cell in the troll’s body craves for John’s affection, but his mind restrains him from tackling the boy this very second. 

 

No one will ever understand how tormenting it is to possess the holy grail, but not being able to truly call it yours; It bittersweet have the presence of perfection in the palms of your hands but not being able to enjoy it. It is taking Vantas all his energy to bite his tongue and prevent himself from using his preferred profane diction. Please is also not a word Karkat prides himself on using, the act of pleading is for the weak and feeble. However, if it is for John Karkat would ignite the world in flames; the blue-eyed-boy just can’t seem to realize what kind of power he has over this troll. If John demanded it Karkat would murder his hubris; pride is the troll’s smallest expense to spend for John.

 

“I need a, welcome back to the hive, embrace.” The troll shamelessly whines out for some form of attention. After all, it has felt like an eternity since the last time he had gotten to see his human.

  
Even though Strider’s body was being to putrefy John clung to it; Oh how Karkat wished for John to cling onto him like that. Out of both jealousy and disgust for the carcass, Vantas took it upon himself to discard the body. It has been over 24 hours since Karkat had last eyed his human, the separation left Karkat feeling empty inside. The troll didn’t want to think about how nightmarish the past was nor about how hollow his life had been before found his John.

 

Panic and frustration begin to overtake the troll's mind. How dare his human ignore his olive branch! As Karkat’s patience thins, his light raps against the door transforming to him throwing his fists against the wooden contraption that dare to separate him for John. Vantas ends his punches he leans into the door and rests his forehead against the surface of the polished wood, “If you don’t open the door,” Karkat desperately tries to recollect his calm but fails to stop himself from snarls out, “ **I am going to fucking kick it down.** ” 

 

With two quick strikes the door splinters and breaks apart from its hinges. A pool of red coat the floor that has been littered with mirror fragments. John sits in the middle of the chaos coating the tiles with his blood. Egbert clutches a knife in his right hand and whispers something as he stares down at the piece of mirror shattered around him. As the troll works on fully removing the door, he becomes paralyzed as he watches his human slicing away at their flesh. The knife digs into the crisscrossing threads holding John’s mutilated flesh together. The tip of the blade is buried in the skin that has been struggling to sew itself back together. With one foul swoop, the stitches are ripped apart, and John repeats the process to his other arm. Crimson erupts from John’s the reopen wounds. The human’s pale skin is bathed in vibrant red.

 

His brilliant blue eyes are bloodshot, and their gaze is locked onto the troll. In a shaky voice, the human finally responds to Karkat’s presence, “Wel-welcome home.”

 

Immediately the troll rushes at the human. “ **What the fuck is happening!?** ” Vantas drops to his knees and cradles the human's quaking body. The shards strewn across the bathroom threaten to slice into the skin on the troll’s knees. “ **Wha- How- Urgh!** ” The troll blubbers out nonsense as he studies the human in his arms.

John gives a weak chuckle at his perplexed demon, as the blood drains out of the boy so does his fears. “W-what’s with that face?” 

 

“ **WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING RIGHT NOW!?** ” 

 

“W-what? It’s f-fun-eee. You w-were b-bound to do th-is to me.” Typically Karkat would find John’s moronic attempts at talking to be adorable, but the slurred sentences are only a testament of John brushing against death.

 

Karkat buries his head in the crook of John's neck before murmuring, “You couldn't farther from the truth. I hate myself for hurting you in this way. Your only thing I love."

 

  
“I-if you love m-me, kill me.” Karkat shakes his heads violently. Before the troll notices John plunges his switchblade into his neck and gurgles out, “Y-you don’t t-then.”

 

Vantas watches the light fade out from his human’s eyes. The lovely blue of John's eyes is gradually turning into a lifeless milky white. The Alternian purses his lips and presses a handful of kisses onto John’s forehead. “I wish it didn’t have to be like this.” the troll cards his figures through the inanimate boy’s disheveled hair.

* * *

* * *

  
**Be the Dave guy === > **

  
**HEY NUMB NUTS THAT'S NOT AN OPTION AND YOU KNOW IT! You can’t be Dave dipshit, he’s dead, and anyone who says otherwise is a dirty liar.**

 

**Try to be the Dave guy again  ===> **

**WHAT AN INSENSITIVE JOKE YOU PRICK! HE'S DEAD D-E-A-D as in not ALIVE, EATING BREATHING, BLEEDING, or anything else entails that living entails!**

Deep in a secluded part of a forest preserve in Vortex, Oregon lies a decomposing body that had used to belong to a boy by the name of Dave Strider. Karkat thought of everything when he disposed of Dave’s body. Strider’s teeth, fingers, toes, eyes, and nose had all been sliced off; Humans do not appreciate culling in the way that Alternians do. **It’s questionable if Dave even existed at this point. Who is Dave?**

“I’m right here. I'm still screwing around existing and what not.”

  
**What kind of sick fuck goes around the forest posing as a dead kid? If you're Dave you're dead Dave.**

  
The blonde-haired boy kicks at his mutilated doppelganger, “No dude, this beautiful guy trying to take a dirt nap is dead Dave.”

  
**How the hell does that make any sense?**

  
“Oh it makes all the cents; it makes too much of the cents to point where it's non-sense. Your grubby hands (go you have hands?) will be overload with pennies, nickels, dimes, and shit.”

  
**Care to explain**

  
“Master of time bitch! I would go further into detail, but you know how it is."

**No, I don't**

"I don’t ask you how this fraudulent semi-omniscient narrator bullshit works, do I? **NO?** That right cause I give a fuck about the mechanics behind it.” Strider's hands are digging to the carcass of his doppelganger he begins to collect the innards of dead Dave.

  
**What the fuck are you doing to dead Dave?**

  
“I could ask you the same thing!” To any prying eyes that happen to stumble upon this scene, they see what looks to be a psychotic blonde man sporting glasses in his twenties standing in the middle of the forest yelling at some invisible entity; all while he is holding onto some mangled corpse’s intestines. “How fucking weird is it that you're narrating what I’m doing while we’re having a conversation?”

  
**Uggghhh, don’t think too hard about it. Stop deflecting the damn question!**

  
Dave huffs in frustration, “If you must know, I’m going to jar this for-”

  
**Ironic purposes?**

  
As Dave’s irritation grows, he pinches the bridge of his nose while eyebrows furrow, and his forehead creases. “If you knew the answer why bother asking the question?”

  
**What’s the fun in that?**

  
“Sounds like a butt load of fun to me.”

  
**Essentially I’m a disembodied voice that usually isn’t heard. Unlike you, this is the only mean I have to pass the time with.**

  
“Don’t care. Well, I’m feeling inspired. Bet ya’ know what happens next, I know I do.”

 

 

**Dave enjoy the wonders of nature === >**

  
“ **Fuck that.** ” With a grin bisecting his face the blonde silently stares at the sunlight shining through the emerald colored leaves above his head. Strider studies the god-like plants gating off the sky with their limbs. In this moment of serenity, he finds himself hesitant to break the peace by doing something unnecessarily “ironic.”

Strider decides to let himself indulge in the gorgeous scenery and remain soundless as he takes in the beauty of the forest. “Yeah… I’m not doing any of that crap. Also, I know that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and what not, but there’s a dead version of me… like right there.” The blonde points at his distorted corpse that lays a mere foot away from where he stands.

Despite the appealing sight of his carcass, Dave manages to find the splendor in the sounds the forest provides. The birds, crickets, frogs, and wind all join in harmony. “Oh that another thing. I can hear a couple of horny teens, not too far off, about to get it on.What a _**glorious**_ sound, sweating teen slapping their meaty bods together... music to my fucking ears.” The blonde boy decides not to piss off the disembodied voice so he shuts his trap. “First of all I’m not a boy, and secondly your narrations are lies.”

  
**Shit, I really tried**

  
“Yup. I’m still going to do it whether you continue this weird ass commentary or not.”

 

**Please don’t**

  
“Too fuckin’ late! You brought this on yourself. It’s jam time.”

  
I’m the mad rapper  
One and only time zapper  
the modern gent so fly and so dapper  
Someone slap her

That girl she flows  
Within my rhythm and my prose  
It’s everything she thinks she knows  
With smartasses like Rose

I keep people on their feet  
My boy Egderp is like, “Oh Dave that’s neat.”  
I keep it fresh and not so discrete  
Because my lyrics are just too sweet

 

I’ll tell you word for word  
This is something you haven’t heard  
I make it mix, so the phrases are blurred  
I don’t give two shits about what you purr-furred  
With that I’m out goodbye and here’s a bird.

 

**Don’t flip me off you bastard!**

**Author's Note:**

> (ºuº) sooooooo how was the chapter? Does anyone have any suggestions or questions? Also is there any spelling mistake, I miss those all the time?


End file.
